Daughter &Husband won’t let anyone see newborn

Unnecessarily rude behaviour.
No visitors, possibly, but cutting off all contact and information is unkind.
Unfortunately, nothing you do but bide your time.

Well first of all, I would go out of my mind with boredom if I was shut in for a month, I was out and about as soon as I was released from hospital, and I welcomed all visitors.
My children have been the same, babies cuddled by loving cousins, aunties and grandparents, all have survived , it’s obviously personal choice, but doesn’t make any sense to me.

I was always the first GP to meet my GC almost as soon as they were born. Their parents were happy to share their joy. I still have a great relationship with all of my now-adult GC. I also met my GGD soon after she was born and delight in my growing relationship with her, now a lively two-year-old. No-one has come to any harm from these early - and ongoing - contacts.

This may change, my own daughter had her first baby in May 2020, beforehand she said very clearly no going to the hospital and no visiting in early days.She got what she thought she wanted due to Covid lockdown. In reality she realised the being on her own with only DH was terrible and after a few weeks I had to move into her bubble. But it was made clear I was needed to look after daughter and husband not the baby which of course was absolutely fine.
Her second baby was born 3 months ago and no mention was made of being in a bubble to bond, She had pre eclampsia and was very poorly for weeks so lots of family were called to support them look after baby and toddler.
I am sure it will all work out,

Babies haven't read the books or the websites or the social media! I remember my health visitor telling me that babies didn't come with a manual!

Witzend

A bit unkind, Monica!
Different times, different circumstances.

None of the wider family saw dd2 until she was 3 months old - because we were in Abu Dhabi, a 7 hour flight away. Dh didn’t even see dd1 until she was a week old, because he was working in Oman and I’d had her in the U.K., because the local hospital at the time was pretty dire.

It’s a bit different when close and would-be loving family are an easy distance away.

Not in the least bit unkind of Monica. She is merely telling us of her personal experience in the past. She is allowed her opinion as much as we all are within the guidelines.

Gingster spot on.

Dr Benjamin Spock - my bible!!

Strange how it's all changed by the time baby number two appears.
It's just weird, but you've no choice but to play along.

I remember Dr. Hugh Jolly in the 1970’s who told us never to sleep with our babies as we might smother them. I can’t remember anything else.
New parents are told so much about what to do or not to do by all these forums and internet sites they must be dizzy.
Unfortunately they take more notice of the nonsense ( most of it is) than they do of us.
How we ever managed to get our children to adulthood is a complete mystery.

It is their baby. I am sure they are doing as well as they know how. It is a huge change of life 'stage'. Be nice, be patient, do not 'expect' anything. - My mother in law successfully broke the first 3 marriages of my brother in law - by always being available to help, always saying her 'better' way of anything from folding a sheet to making jam - totally undermined the young wives and they got no chance to make and learn from their own mistakes. Would have happened to us too, but we lived 300 miles away!

My kids wouldnt and havent dreamt of not giving out basic details and an occasional picture/video.
Sorry op.

But 4 days isnt that long. Though will feel like it when you are waiting.
Hopefully they announce things soon.

To be fair, I did much of what was in my book.
I suspect new mums are doing the same with what they read and they are given.

It's just the latest fad. Fashions in bringing up babies come and go but babies don't change.

I suspect it is in baby books and on websites.

My DD was most surprised when she read my babybook that I had used.
She said, much of the information given out, had changed nowadays.

The fad of bonding is nonsense. A baby couldn’t care less who feeds him or her. What happened to good old common sense?

We struggled on when DC3 arrived because my parents weren't at all well, my MIL was too far away, DH couldn't take any time off work and I would have been so glad of some help as I tore ligaments in my ankle!
We hadn't decided on a name either.

A bit unkind, Monica!
Different times, different circumstances.

None of the wider family saw dd2 until she was 3 months old - because we were in Abu Dhabi, a 7 hour flight away. Dh didn’t even see dd1 until she was a week old, because he was working in Oman and I’d had her in the U.K., because the local hospital at the time was pretty dire.

It’s a bit different when close and would-be loving family are an easy distance away.

I find it all a bit odd too. Yes, I totally get that new parents don't want to be inundated with visitors in those first few days (or weeks), but telling close family and friends is surely part of the joy of having a new baby? I wouldn't have wanted the hassle of having lots of visitors at that time, but we were excited to welcome our little one and it felt natural that our close family would feel the same way too. And, as others have said, we all managed to 'bond' fine too!

Try not to feel hurt and rejected. As you’ll see from posters here, this move to living in a cocoon of 3 in the period after the baby arrives isn’t unusual. This obsession with germs and bonding as a new family is new to us.
Do something special you really enjoy and wait for it to change.
I’ve been very lucky with my daughters being thrilled to share the news and the babies

I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling. Odd behaviour in my opinion, but then we’re all different. Most couples would be overjoyed to introduce their new baby to close family and friends. This doesn’t mean that visitors should just drop in without checking on a time that doesn’t interrupt the routine. I do hope you hear from your daughter very soon. 💐

In the not so recent past when travel was not so easy, grandparents often did not see their new grandchildren for weeks, if not even months.

When our first child was born DH's parents lived 60 miles away. They did not own a car or even drive and there was no easy public transport. They were very quickly told of DS's arrival but did not see him until he was over a fortnight old and I had recovered enough from a difficult birth to be up to the journey. They did not have a phone either, so letting them kmow the baby was born, let alone anything else was very difficult.

Back in 1950 when my sister was born, we lived in Carlisle, family on both sides lived in London. They did not see the new arrival until she was several months old.

In wartime some fathers did not see thier children until they were years old. My father was sent to India 3 months before my sister was born and did not see her until she was nearly 3

Get a grip.

The only reason I can think of is that new parents might be concerned about Covid and a visitor (who might be without symptoms) giving it to the new baby or new Mum.
But this is started way before the pandemic.

I can understand not wanting to be inundated with lots of visitors but close family? Odd.

It's just the latest fad. Fashions in bringing up babies come and go but babies don't change.

Don't be hurt, Cookie04, they've been persuaded that this is the right thing to do. I hope you can go to see them all soon.

My mother was my life line. I would have drowned without her.

‘Pretentious Piffle’ indeed! 🙄.
Leave them to it. You’ll be needed soon enough!

I do find this ‘fashionable’ preciousness weird - I’m so sorry, OP.

Obviously nobody wants to be inundated with the sort of people who stay too long, don’t bring anything helpful (e.g. a meal that can just be shoved in the oven) and expect to be waited on with cups of tea, but to exclude close family from meeting a new baby does strike me as cruel.

Thank goodness my dd was only too happy for us to visit as soon as we could get there, after the births of her 3.