People who say 'remind me'

My husband and I exchange, “Remind me to…” pretty frequently. It’s for stuff like adding to the grocery list, to check for something in the basement, etc

Appointments get put on calendars.

I have had friends ask me to remind them and vice versa, but that’s more of a, “if I don’t contact you, reach out.” thing. It’s taken (and meant) as a shorthand way of saying a reminder isn’t a bother.

That said, if I was constantly reminding someone, doing all the emotional labour, I’d give it up as a bad job. Balance is the key, imo

pigsmayfly.

There are those amongst us who are dyslexic and have trouble organising themselves. Also ADHD, the same. Some people will say that, not because they are too important but they really don’t want to forget. My friend bought me a calendar to help me, but then I put the calendar down and couldn’t remember where I put it…… I tend to remember things by numbers. I had an appointment on 25th at 10.25 which I remembered. I find texts a couple of days before really helpful from hairdressers etc. I’ve been like this since I was a child. It’s stressful!

In that case, if someone told me, "I have ADHD and can have trouble being organised. Would you mind reminding me the day before as I'd hate to make a mistake and miss it?" that would be fine. I'd put in my diary a note to remind them the day before. That's just supporting a friend who has some challenges, and I wouldn't hold it against them if they did forget one day. In other cases, I'm not managing someone else's life for them. I have enough to do in my own.

I am a very guilty lady

If someone asked me to remind them of a date/appt. that would be it. Goodnight Vienna.

lemongrove
because some are the Sun and others the planets revolving around them?
I know we can’t link threads, but I sometimes feel I’m a planet. I wonder if that’s how others see me?

Urmstongran

No Scentia you carry on! It’s honestly only my opinion. A lot of people say it. Good on them. I’m probably in the minority anyway!
??

Am sending a hair shirt through the post to you as we speak, wear it daily and tell all your friends and neighbours to take care.?

FarNorth

That's a shame Beswitched.

If someone has a genuine memory problem that's one thing, but I don't understand why some in this thread expect someone else to organise for them, and others say they're willing to do it.

Because some are the sun and others the planets revolving around them??

Totally understand that situation and hope I haven't offended you x

There are those amongst us who are dyslexic and have trouble organising themselves. Also ADHD, the same. Some people will say that, not because they are too important but they really don’t want to forget. My friend bought me a calendar to help me, but then I put the calendar down and couldn’t remember where I put it…… I tend to remember things by numbers. I had an appointment on 25th at 10.25 which I remembered. I find texts a couple of days before really helpful from hairdressers etc. I’ve been like this since I was a child. It’s stressful!

No Scentia you carry on! It’s honestly only my opinion. A lot of people say it. Good on them. I’m probably in the minority anyway!
??

Oh Urms I say take care almost every morning on the GM thread. I will try to stop I honestly didn’t realise it was condescending?
I will always remind people if I really want to do the activity or see the person, if I’m not bothered I will say “yeah I will try to remember to remind you”

I can't remember what you're saying you don't remember saying.
I need someone to remind me

I can't remember saying that
Must be memory deteriorating as I get older

Oh that's not so good then, being treated like a p.a.

Hope she has taken onboard that you've had enough.

MissAdventure

I think its fine to make allowances for friends.
Some can't see so well, some are less mobile, some lack hearing.
Being forgetful is just another thing you'd help out with, if you could.

This friend isn't particularly old or forgetful. She nice but a bit imperious. Expects everyone else to make arrangements, choose restaurants etc It can get a bit annoying.

That's a shame Beswitched.

If someone has a genuine memory problem that's one thing, but I don't understand why some in this thread expect someone else to organise for them, and others say they're willing to do it.

I think its fine to make allowances for friends.
Some can't see so well, some are less mobile, some lack hearing.
Being forgetful is just another thing you'd help out with, if you could.

I say it all the time because my memory isn’t as good as it was and I’m always worried that I’ll let someone down. Especially these days when sometimes I can’t even remember what day, week, month it is ( that’s more down to retirement and the pandemic than my memory, though!).

I disagree. I don't see any problem in checking a prior arrangement the day before.

Why not say when you are arranging it "I'll give you a tinkle the day before to make sure it's still on". They can then say

- no need, it's definitely in my diary, I won't forget

- please do, you never know what might crop up in the meantime

- good idea, you remind me this time and I'll do it next time

The only such events that I arrange are either visits to or from the DS and family, which involve copious Signal messages, finishing with "We're just leaving" to let the other party know we're on our way.
Or lunch get-togethers with a group of friends, which have been arranged with a string of e mails. As I am usually the one who books the table, I usually send round a WhatsApp the day before. It's actually a reminder, but disguised as "Looking forward to seeing everybody tomorrow".

When life gets back on track after Covid and we will be meeting more, I shall make a point of reminding people about arrangements the day before. I think it's a good idea.

CanadianGran

I sympathize Beswitched. I have to know; did she remember the meeting? I'm reading this late Sat night, and it is already Sunday in UK.

Urmstongran, I use 'take care' quite a bit, because I mean it, especially with my grown children. I could finish a phone conversation with 'eat well, drive safely, don't work too hard, take your vitamins'... haha, you get the point, but 'take care' covers it all.

My DH says 'be bear aware' on ending phone calls to kids. It's a bit of a running joke now, but we do live near the wilderness, and the children took bear safety courses at school as part of wilderness studies. Often a useful warning when they were heading off to clubs and parties as teens.

No meeting didn't take place.

I like to use 'month to view' calendars and diaries, as I like an overall view of the month, and can see at a glance if any day is becoming too busy.

I have one on the wall by my dressing table, so can glance at it in the morning when brushing my hair, and another by my chair in the room. At the moment I also have month by month pages in my Christmas planner, so hopefully I don't forget any meetings/arrangements.

It's usually me who adds things to the calendar, but it's for both myself and MrLP, so we both know what's happening.

Re friends and meet-ups, we confirm any arrangements by text/Whatsapp. Once it's in everyone's diary, it is considered a firm date. If anyone can't make it nearer the time, it's up to them to let the others know. The system has worked so far.

One friend kept cancelling our meeting at the last minute, no real reason, just 'too busy'. After a few times, I left it to her to rearrange - she never did, so I no longer see her.

Take care xx ( sorry Urmstongran, it's habit!

We have a calendar in the hall - one of those family ones - and that is where appointments etc are written. OH sometimes asks me to remind him of stuff and I tell him to write it on the calendar.

My DM’s response was always ‘If you can’t remember yourself how do you expect me to’!

“Fools rush in” lemon springs to mind! ?

I sympathize Beswitched. I have to know; did she remember the meeting? I'm reading this late Sat night, and it is already Sunday in UK.

Urmstongran, I use 'take care' quite a bit, because I mean it, especially with my grown children. I could finish a phone conversation with 'eat well, drive safely, don't work too hard, take your vitamins'... haha, you get the point, but 'take care' covers it all.

My DH says 'be bear aware' on ending phone calls to kids. It's a bit of a running joke now, but we do live near the wilderness, and the children took bear safety courses at school as part of wilderness studies. Often a useful warning when they were heading off to clubs and parties as teens.