Stuck in the past - is it a man thing?

Yes it's a man thing - an old man thing.

Just scrolling down on BBC news and to my amazement saw an article re ‘making £20,000 per week’ posting nude photos on various websites. Surely it’s not reasonable especially in these straitened times for the BBC to give these activities publicity/ airtime/space on a publicly funded website

My husband played lead guitar in his younger days (teens). He's almost 62 now, but he and his fellow band members frequently talk about their times with the band. 40-odd years have gone by, their lives are so different now, but when they are together, they talk like teenagers

Is it partly because older men all had careers or trades - pretty much “for life”? They had long term colleagues and were very much part of things in the work environment.
Women either didn’t work so much or had in-out careers which tended to fit round children and their husbands.

Now, with more equality, more women working and so many “portfolio” careers, maybe things will level out and no longer will men recount stories of the days of the call centre, parcel delivery, bank, sales room or whatever - and nor will women.

I think those who had stable long term work with colleagues they depend on will always have stories be they men or women. Police, Health services, Education, the forces, maybe construction workers or other areas where people work as teams. Perhaps this “story telling” and this particular version of “looking back” is the result of the society we live in rather than whether we are male or not.

Yes MawB you are right about the best part of life was raising ones children - what I have found though is never to pontificate on how one did things - that would definitely be a source of irritation for my girls - obviously haven’t got it all wrong though as we are first port of call when their lives get difficult and they need help! Being a mother of 4 girls has certainly been the most fulfilling achievement - along with a happy marriage!

I agree with MawB it's just different for women. I remember my nurse training with great affection and life in the Nurses Home.

I do think though that men like the memories of bonding together. Football/rugby teams they were part of. Those who were in the Armed Forces etc.

Good heavens no, not a man thing at all.
Every so often we have threads about our early years/memories and there is no shortage of posts from Grans .
And you only have to mention potty training/ walking/ nappies/ weaning etc to realise that for many women their child rearing years were the prime of their life - and they still regard themselves as experts in that area. Which, I suspect may be at the root of some of the MIL/DIL conflicts.
So before Grandad, Grumppa, or Rufus2 chip in, feeling the Male contingent are being picked on - I vehemently disagree!

You might be right Eglantine. I DO lament my lost looks, although know it's very vain and that as a cancer survivor, I'm lucky to be here.

Do women do it in a different way though?

I’m thinking of all those photos on display of children as babies, when the babes are now thirty year old adults and the wedding day photos when the result of forty years of marriage is the reality!

Or women who were attractive in their teens or twenties still clinging to the makeup and style of that period in their lives in the illusion that they still look like that??

GagaJo I too have fond memories of the 14-18 year olds I taught for many years. They were so lively and funny. I think they kept me young! But they're a fond memory now. I'd like to think that I've the ability to focus on the present and the future (even thought I'm over seventy!) rather than on the past. It's sad that someone should believe that their best years were over a long time ago.

Oh yes - I’m sure it’s a male thing! My other half has memories right back to childhood, through school and his many years in the army and subsequently in business. He is totally lost in today’s world of technology and email - always writes ‘important letters’ then can’t understand why they are not
responded to in the same way and probably get lost. Deeply frustrating as we try to sell the house following the death of our daughter with whom we bought it. He is a great character though, loved by so many and I wouldn’t change his quirky ways for anyone else, just have to ‘manage’ the situations as they arise. I certainly don’t know any women with the same traits!

That’s an interesting one. No . I can’t think of any women who do that
My dad was forever remembering his RAF days. Now I wish I had listened more but then ... My husband doesn’t reminisce but he doesn’t say much anyway.

Can think of no women who do it. Other than the melancholy, bittersweetness of remembering when your children were young.

I know SEVERAL men who do it. My bloke, who talks frequently about his days on ship. Ex-husband who remembers his running days (MUST have been a long time ago, they were WAY over when we married, in his mid-20s). Friend who is still, in his head, in the military, although having been retired for over 20 years.

I'm mid 50s and still anticipate good professional experiences to come. I hope I'm not deluded, although do have very good, happy memories of classes of students I taught years ago!