Speaking of other halves ...

Nortsat46 that just cost me! Never heard of Moshulu shoes but just had a look and bought a lovely pair in the sale! You should be on commission.

I always insisted that my wife had her own personal account as well as her business account, my account is my business account which she has full access to and we have also have a joint account.

I believe that all wives should be independent persons and in that independence they can be who they want and need to be. Thankfully my wife chooses to remain my wife and best friend. As for me, I have no choice, I stay with the center of my life, my wife, and that is a necessity for me, not an issue of choice

My daughter recently went to a financial planning seminar for women and setting up an escape fund was the main piece of advice given. Of course her friend who is in most need of one., doesn’t have one

A disappearing act worthy of Houdini eh ?
I'm pleased to see that so many of you have no need for a plan B, however I'm also heartened by the growing number of you who have this for whatever reasons.
I don't feel such a conniving article now.

Secret leaving fund. Hmm, now that would be telling, it wouldn’t be a secret then would it? ?

I haven't now I am on third husband (yes really!) but I have a home in my own name and some money in savings etc. When I was younger and poorer (and especially with useless husband 2) I used to keep a stash of cash hidden away in the house for emergencies and was often used for necessities.

On the way to my wedding my father gave me £50 cash so I could get away for a night safely if needed. I have always had independent savings which I consider a safety net. I have never needed to use it but it has been a close call once or twice! Highly recommend all women to have a little something somewhere.

The night before I married my Dad took me to one side and handed me an envelope containing money.
He told me that he hoped I'd never need it but to keep it safe and add what I could to it...he also advised me never to 'let him know' and never have a joint account.
Sadly, I did need it and if I hadn't have had that safety net, life could have been very difficult for me.

I've worked with many vulnerable women over the year's and it's the one piece of advice that could have helped so many.

Oh MaggieMaybe I guess you are not my wife, but you could extremely well be, we have always had a joint account, but she runs it. The kids needed shoes and clothes, we all needed food, what I needed I just asked for and mostly she would get it for me, often for birthday/Christmas if it was a larger item. I was at work or at sea so could never get near a shop. Now I am retired, very happy to have it all sorted for me. I guess if she wanted to run she would have done so years ago, so we will doubtless continue as we have for the past forty years and, for my sanity and peace of mind, I almost hope I go first.

DH when he gave me my engagement ring said it was a large plain diamond which if inthe event of an emergency I would be able to pawn it and it should see me safe. A kind man then and still kind and thoughtful now but pawnbrokers are a vanished race. But he was thinking of my safety and welfare .

My Mum had her own account and took me to her bank when I started work to set up an account , I kept it going so that when I was working thats where my salary went . When I got married OH would hand me a tenner every saturday for housekeeping , actually at first it was MIL who gave me the money till I objected . Oh then set up a joint account , we used it for utilities tax bill car etc , and I got food , clothes , holidays from my own account as I worked in between children . When he died 16 months ago I couldn't bear to spend "his" money . I still spend my own pension and seldom use the old joint account which is now in my name of course

I didn't have and worried so much that it made me ill. I needed to leave and take the kids with me as my other half had threatened to kill us all. My bank gave great advice telling me they'd immediately open a new account in my name and move everything across (he never paid into the joint account anyway and drank all of his wages). They said to leave a couple of pounds in old account and that he'd not be able to go overdrawn by more than £25. Because they knew situation, I had reassurance about bills and wages, etc. So glad it all worked out and best thing I ever did. Took me a while but I'm debt and mortgage free now and grown up
kids are safe.

Yes, but it didn’t start as a ‘running away’ fund - I started saving £2 coins when they first came into circulation. The pot mounted up more quickly than I expected, and every time I had a couple of hundred quid, I changed it into bank notes (easier to stash around the house!). When our marriage eventually started to go wrong and I thought I might need to leave home in a hurry, I had over £2000 in cash, which I hid in my car, under the spare wheel. The day I left, I was very glad of it, even though I had my own salary and was able to switch that from our joint account to a new account in my sole name the next week.

DD No.1 didn’t approve of, or like, much older SiL No.2 so set up an Escape Fund’ for her younger sister many years ago! DD No.1 now divorced while DD No.2 and husband recently celebrated their Silver Wedding!

Love moshulu shoes. Always looked in the St.Davids shop when visiting family there. Will be tempted if it’s still there when nearby again in a couple of weeks.

Yes - IFA (male) always recommends ‘running away’ fund. Wonder if DH has the same ...........??

DH when he gave me my engagement ring said it was a large plain diamond which if inthe event of an emergency I would be able to pawn it and it should see me safe

Same. DH got me a ring that I could cash in in an energency. That is why women traditionally collected jewellery.

Current fashions disregard this.

*Sparkle, I'm sorry you had such a bad deal. So did Maggie and some others.
I can only say, you probably didn't have a very efficient lawyer*

And what pays for efficient lawyers... emergency funds!

notanan2
And what pays for efficient lawyers... emergency funds!

You are so right!

and CrazyH I used the lawyer recommended by the Marriage Guidance people (now Relate). My ex was very aggressive and I think she was as unnerved by him as I was.

No, I dont.

My husband had a work colleague who, when his wife died, could not understand why he was finding money in all the pockets of her clothes, tucked away in drawers and cupboards, even little purses in the toes of her shoes.
She had not expected to die first and he thought what a happy marriage it had been. I didn't enlighten them even though I had no idea about her leaving fund. A case of sleeping dogs lie.

Wicklow an emergency fund doesnt = an unhappy marraige.

Quite the opposite usually. You built it up when things are good. Its making hay while the sun shine!

I have had my 'running away' money in a cupboard in the bedroom for 30 years, sadly I keep dipping in to it for presents, Christmas, clothes, holidays ...................... so I think I have about £20 at the moment. Getting there . How could I leave my DH, he is the only one that loads the dishwasher correctly !!!???!!!???

Sounds like my emergency "atms are down" drawer Avor... its dipped into more than its added to

Many years ago I had a 'secret' fund in my POSB (Post Office Savings Account). Not really a leaving fund but just a bit of money in case I wanted to buy myself something. We weren't actually all that well off and I knew that DH would suck it into the housekeeping if he knew about it. However, he became too ill to continue working, we went on to benefits and we had to declare what money we had so my secret fund was found out (and soon spent).