to object to this type of invitation?

I agree that the school could have worded it better, but then I don’t notice or judge what other people are wearing at these type of events - my attention is always on the pupils and their achievements. I’d be more judgemental about behaviour - wolf whistling, standing up to take photos and blocking other parents view of the stage, letting younger children run around while the pupils are getting their awards - and I’ve witnessed smartly dressed parents doing all of these things.

I like a dress code - that way you know you'll be dressed right. Smart casual doesn't mean you have to spend money you haven't got - just that you take a bit of care.

SirC, Once you have splashed out on a nice outfit at the charity shop. which is where I always buy mine, they last for years, I am currently wearing a dress I bought in a charity shop 10 years ago. I think it cost £4 and I have worn it at my 70th birthday party, my husband's 75th, and to innumerable social occasions and to church, many many times. This morning a neighbour came to my door and when I opened it wearing my now rather elderly dress she said "Oh, you look nice. Going out then?"
Everyone should have at least one outfit for these smart casual occasions.

Me too Anna - I never walk past a charity shop and half my wardrobe is made up of charity shop finds. OTOH my daughter had friends at school whose parents would have struggled to kit themselves out with smart casual outfits and shoes if they hadn’t had a significant amount of notice, even at charity shops. I was so shocked at the levels of poverty coming from a solid middle class background.

Honestly - in the overall scheme of things, would it really matter if parents weren’t in smart gear? It might be nice if that’s what matters to you but it’s better to have engaged and enthusiastic parents there celebrating their children’s achievements imo than worrying about the clothes on their back. As I said previously, behaviour of said parents is far more important to me.

A smart jacket can transform a fairly ordinary outfit into a 'smart casual' one. In the days when I had to chair a committee open to the press and public, I had a selection of jackets in different colours that nearly always made me look presentable.

I taught at a girls' school in Essex - yes, in some places it really is like TOWIE! - You would be amazed at what some parents considered appropriate dress to visit the school. The worst was a wealthy mum whose low cut leopardskin leggings showed that she had not recently had a bikini wax . Hardly surprising that their offspring looked as they did.

That was what I meant Annaram1 but you said it so well.

I know we have poverty in this country but I am sure everyone could put a little of their limited income or child benefit aside and spend a little time sourcing a smart casual outfit in a charity shop for a very small amount of money - if they wanted to.

Perhaps - but there are probably more pressing things for many families

Kittylester I am very sorry to say that I have seen people at school events etc in what I would call inappropriate dress. I admit I am probably old fashion.

I see nothing wrong in this for this particular occasion.

I always find it helpful to have an indication of dress code, and making this a special occasion for these hardworking scholars is giving them due respect.
When my daughter graduated from University, the ceremony was held in the city Cathedral, and you would have expected parents to turn up appropriately dressed.
Unfortunately there were a few in track suits and trainers - expensive designer stuff, so it wasn’t a matter of poverty.
The worse thing was that they were loud and disruptive during the ceremony, but when their own graduands were presented, they whooped and hollered as tho’ they were at a rodeo - in a Cathedral!
I’m as common and working class as they come, but I found this behaviour revolting and upsetting. Some folks have no sense of occasion!

Footie shirts? Hoodies? Vest tops on men or women? Joggers? Midriff baring?
These are not ok looks for a prize giving event.
Anyone who thinks that the school is being picky, needs to re-evaluate their own standards...IMV.

So perhaps the shock is that nowadays people need to be reminded how to dress for what is a special occasion

Yes, I imagine that's why it was mentioned Grannyknot It does seem strange to mention it, but perhaps on other occasions parents haven't dressed appropriately for a formal prize-giving. (Must admit that when three of my children graduated some relatives turned up in hoodies, shorts,, flip flops and others in formal dress, suits and ties, and some of the women wore hats. I did feel the sloppy dressers (who also stood and clapped and whistled as degrees were being awarded ) just didn't get the sense of occasion.

I think a prestigious building and a formal event guides me as to what I should wear. It does seem a sign of the times perhaps Kitty that the school wants to maintain a standard and the only way of making sure it happens is to notify parents. I have never seen it on an invitation before. (Congratulations too to your grandson. You must be very proud.)

Sluttygran - snap! I said much the same thing.

I wish a code of conduct, AND a dress code had been forwarded to those relatives at the graduation ceremonies who might as well have been watching X Factor contestants. They had no idea how to behave appropriately.

I think it's perfectly reasonable. Unfortunately, whilst most people do, there are always a few people who don't, dress appropriately. Most of us have seen the occasional mum in pyjamas at the school gates. And I've seen an overweight man in a posh restaurant in a vest type t shirt. Smart casual is a very modest request and wouldn't even be under discussion here if it were a party, the theatre, an opening or some other low key gathering.

Isn’t it a sad reflection on society today that many parents have no idea how to dress for events? As other posters say, in the past both men and women tried to dress appropriately,
And even if clothes were a bit on the worn side, were clean and pressed.
I understand your concerns Kitty but think some really do need to be told about what to wear.

It's quite educational for the children to see how people are expected to dress for occasions like this. After all Smart doesn't have to mean expensive, just clean and ironed rather than dragged out of the bottom of the laundry basket.

I found Pantglas's reference to 'Sunday best' thought provoking. I don't think many people have 'Sunday best' clothes any more. When I was a girl we all went to church in our newest dresses, Dads in jackets and ties and Mums wore their best coats, hats and gloves. Today fewer people go to church and even those who do don't seem to dress up any more. Jeans, shorts and T-shirts are all quite normal at my church. So maybe a dress code for an award ceremony is not such a bad idea.

It’s interesting to see how many people on this thread seem to think the note referred to the less well off.
Why?
Bad manners and bad taste seem to me to be spread across all society at all levels.

I think 'smart/casual' would be very polite phrasing. After all, some people's idea of 'casual' is quite different from (or should it be 'to'?) some of the rest of us.

Vests, flip flops and pjs spring to mind. Unfortunately.

Low cut leopard skin leggings'

Well, if you turn up in jeans and tee shirt, and everyone else is smartly dressed would you be happy with that?

It's an occasion, an event to look forward to. Dress for the occasion.

I think smart casual just means no football tops, shorts, flipflops, sleeveless muscle vests.

SirChenjin I read your posts with interest but can't quite figure out what exactly your are saying?

Quote from you: " I was so shocked at the levels of poverty coming from a solid middle class background."

I am not sure what you regard as 'poverty' in a middle class background? Do you mean these people have no clothes whatsoever? They can't find a pair of decent trousers/shirt/skirt/shoes? What do you define as middle class? I am working class, lived from hand to mouth and still had clothes I was proud of. Still managed to feed myself and family and still able to have the odd night out!

I think all the initial intent was that people came dressed reasonably nicely so that they did their children and school proud.

I agree/disagree with some of the comments but yours I simply cannot understand .

It's patronising to mention a dress code - and ineffective. Those who dress 'inappropriately' will take no notice. Those who care what other people are wearing should redirect their attention to the students and awards as it's supposed to be their event. The rebels (myself included) will be tempted to make a statement or joke about it.

I remember a very talented artist and teacher who always wore paint-splattered jeans and trainers. The university decided, very reluctantly, to smarten up it's image. There was an apologetic statement about appealing to those who were impressed by appearances. Jeans and trainers were discouraged rather than banned. Staff were livid about being told what to wear. The artist turned up in beige trousers and brown leather shoes. He'd thrown an awful lot of paint over them - artistically arranged, of course!