Getting dh out of the house, grrrr....

My SIL is like this, so is his mother. It drives my daughter mad. My mother and my sister are the same, it drives me mad. I just give an earlier time to those people in the vain hope we might just get somewhere on time. It doesn't always work.
I don't think it is an OCD thing, I think they just have no concept of how much they can fit in to the amount of time they have available before they are due to arrive anywhere. I listen to my sister reeling off everything she has to do before she arrives and I have to admire her eternal optimism but rage about her punctuality.

I have had 45 years of this and I feel your pain.?

That's really horrible of him, particularly when he knows it upsets you.
It certainly would me. I have ended two friendships because the other person was ALWAYS late and left me hanging around outside cinemas/theatres/cafes.

MyDH’s favourite last minute dither is to unstack the dishwasher. It’s now famous in the family psyche. I put the alarm on which always attracts his attention!

I have 1 DD who is often late for things and if I am meeting her I take the attitude that it's ok to be late. However I normally plan to be on time for everything as I detest being last to arrive, look for seats or try to establish a place for myself in e.g. a meeting. My general belief is that it is rude and disrespectful to be late. Leave him at home unless you think it is an anxiety issue. If that is the case, encourage him to seek help. Good luck!

As a homeopath he could do with a remedy or two to help with his OCD
Why don't you go on your own without him?

My DH was always late for everything - except our wedding! My lovely Mum in law asked me if I had said something to him as, the morning of our wedding, he was up and getting ready at 6am and nagging everyone else. She said he had told them I had said if he was late I was not going to hang around waiting for him! She asked if that was true so I told her that yes, it was. I used to tell him we needed to be somewhere at least 30 minutes before we actually did so we had a chance of arriving on time. I hate being late - I think it is extremely rude - sadly my daughter has inherited her Dad's tardiness - she is the car driver so again I have had to resort to bringing forward times so we get there promptly!

My DH was a 'late-leaver' all his life. He suffered for many years with Chrone's Disease. Although I know that he often couldn't help it, it used to drive me mad when he decided to go to the toilet just as we were about to leave.
Sometimes, after waiting for him for ages he would announce that he thought it better if he didn't come with me. I think that it was often a handy excuse when he didn't want to do something.
I wonder if that is sometimes the reason that people mess about before going out - hoping that they will be left behind to 'do their own thing!'

Witzend How do you put up with it?
Perhaps ott but have you ever thought of buying your own car ?
Then when urgent like a school pickup, appointments etc say 'in your own time darling, see you there?
then off you go .

Always tell him that an appointment is 15 minutes earlier than it really is.

It’s a time and motion thing. My father was the same and I admit so am I. Each appointment becomes a challenge and rather than get to a place early, I time my departure so i get there exactly on time. On the odd occasion if I’m ready to leave 5 minutes early then I will find a 5 minute job to do to fill the time. Unfortunately that job may take 6 or 7 minutes and I then get the blame for being late. Hate sitting around doing nothing!

"I do drive, and frequently go alone, but Dd is away for work, so we're both here for school/nursery pickups, for tonight and all day tomorrow, since both Gdcs will be home tomorrow. And I don't feel like doing it all on my toe!"

Well if you don't want to go on your own, tell him you're not coming and he can go on his own. He won't be able to indulge in obsessively checking doors etc. since the house won't be empty. And if he still gets there late, he can relish dealing with the fallout all on HIS tod!

My ex husband ( one of the many reasons he is an ex) was the same. When we had to be somewhere on time l used to put the clicks forward half hour early in the morning.

Maybe you should say thank you to your guardfian angel that you still have a husband that cares. When you bury him you can reflect on all the irritations that you have "suffered". If you still feel the same then declare to all and sundry that you are well rid of him, throw a party and tip his ashes down the pan. Best advicde to you is: Stop whining.

I couldnt cope with him, and I do sympathise with you.We are always on time if not too early sometimes, BUT my Daughter is never on time, for anything, I tell them when coming for a meal, the meal will be ready earlier then it will be simply as then they may arrive in time, its so frustrating having a meal ready and then they ring and say "we are leaving now" the journey takes twenty minutes, the excuse is their teenage girls, who forget something or need to change clothes etc. These days the meal is never ready when they arrive.Lesson learnt.

people who are consistently late,or leave it to the last minute-control freaks,rude.they know they do it .Ive had it with a few people in the past,they are not in my life anymore

Lie to him my dear. Just add an hour or whatever appropriate on to the proper time. Works like a charm for me.

Readymeals, that did rather amuse me. Of course I'm capable of locking up etc., - he knows I do it when he sometimes goes away on his own for several days. But it doesn't matter whether I've already done it - and said so - he'll have to do it himself, too.

He's not remotely doddery and certainly not autistic - I think he just enjoys cutting things fine.

And it wouldn't be any use telling him it's going to take half an hour longer - we've done that journey, and others, so many times, he knows exactly how long it'll take in normal - i.e. no hold ups- traffic.

Still, at least it was only 7 minutes over target-departure-time, this time! Maybe things are looking up...

@Witzend

Say you need to leave earlier than you really need to then -

he has pfaffing around time and you get there earlier or on time

Get in the car and drive off,later tell him you can not be late for small children.I had a similar experience early on in our marriage,I just left him and I rarely had the problem since been married 50 years this year.Worth a try.

Nup, wouldn't put up with that. Do these runs without him, seriously ? You don't need the extra stress.

Leave him behind

It makes me so glad my DH is quite the opposite, he always wants to leave before the agreed time. I've got used to it now and make sure I'm ready to go 5-10 minutes before.
What really annoys me is that the time we leave is rarely important. For example he will say he wants to leave at 10a.m. to start a 4 hour drive to our holiday accommodation; we can't get into it until 4p.m! If I'm not ready by 9.55a.m. he is fretting!
He also gets unreasonably chuffed if he manages to arrive before the time that the SatNav said we would arrive when we set off.
Ah well, takes all sorts.....

It sounds as if you DH might be suffering from some form of OCD regarding the door locking,checking windows and gas etc.,but that doen’t seem to fiti n with him not being concerned about picking up your DGs ? late. I hate being late for things,but my daughter is always late. That drives me mad ,as coping with your DH would.. No easy answers to change long time habits,unfortunately.

That would definitely be my solution - life's too short to hang around waiting for someone!