Dummy Blind

I think this is like the breast vs formula debate.

There's no right or wrong way. Whatever suits each particular family.

My daughter was given a dummy in SCBU as she wasn't feeding. She had it for about 10 months, until she bit through the teat and choked on it. She never had another one.

But I'd not condemn anyone else for using them. Just make sure you check the teat frequently.

In our day - what a dreadful phrase - dummies were frowned upon. Life has moved on - dummies have been redesigned and are harmless and in common use now. I cannot think why you would want to judge someone who uses one for their child; nor yet someone who photographs a baby with one it. Why shouldn't they? Their decision.

Frankly, I don't worry about dummies, although I never used them.

What does worry me are the parents who happily post photos of their completely naked toddlers online.

Later on, most children will be embarrassed by these photos, and with all we hear about sexual abuse of children these days, it seems very risky to me.

Bibbity, my sister sucked her left forefinger and middle finger until she was about three when she stopped of her own accord. I can clearly see the marks of her two front teeth on her fingers in my mind's eye even now.

I believe dentists feel right now that sucking a thumb or finger causes much less damage to teeth than using a dummy.

Here in Denmark, most parks have a "dummy tree". Parents take their children to the tree where the little one hangs up the dummy when he or she feels ready to part with it. (Most mothers keep a spare for bedtime the first couple of nights). This makes a little ceremony of being big enough to do without the dummy, which seems to make parting with it easier for the children.

One of my children was dummy obsessed, another his thumb and one was happier without anything. Both those with something to suck spoke earlier than the one who was happy to be without. The one with the dummy had it forcibly removed by my mother...she was unhappy from then on. I'm not sure she ever recovered but maybe she would have been less satisfied with life whatever the circumstances.
When my Grandson used to come to me, once he reached a certain age, I wanted the dummy to go during the day. However, although I persevered, his parents didn't. As he was non-verbal I got quite exasperated but it turns out he was autistic and the dummy had nothing to do with it...according to the SALT. When he becomes overwhelmed, I am now happy to let him have the dummy although he is over 3 because it does sooth him. We are looking for something else, but until we find it, the dummy stays.

When I saw the ultrasound scan at 20weeks and DGD is sucking her thumb I was supposed to think how sweet, but I truly thought how awful.
She has given up her dummy now she's 4.
I worried that I had weaned mine from the breast too soon when DS continued to suck his thumb for years
I think some of us are more oral than others. Some touch their faces and pick their teeth more than others do. Some adults chew gum and plenty still smoke.

I dislike dummies but would have used one of it would have helped my ds not to scream with colic.
I knew it wouldn't help since, when he was distressed, he wouldn't take a bottle teat in his mouth so wouldn't have wanted a dummy either.
(He was breast fed but doctor & health visitor advised me to give extra feeds from bottle when he was screaming. It didn't work.)

My DS was a thumb sucker--- born with a sucking blister--- teeth just a well formed as his sisters who neither sucked their thumb or had a dummy

DD had a dummy which she gave up totally on her 3rd Birthday with a bribe of a Sindy doll , both DGS have/had dummies.

I had a schoolfriend who was still sucking her thumb when we left School at 18, as another fried used to say "at least you can take a dummy away"

Leave parents alone to make their own choices

Sooner a dummy than a thumb. Number one daughter had a dummy which we threw away at the age of one. Second daughter sucked her tongue, that stopped at about 18 months. The last daughter managed to find her thumb from day one (much to the admiration of the midwives). Sucked her thumb until in her teens, went straight on to smoking cigarettes and now vapes. Her sisters don't smoke, nor me or my husband. My sister in law was exactly the same.

I hate dummies. I have seen quite a few photos of babies with them.

Dummies - a bone of contention or as my 7yr old GD says - a pacifier!
My daughter refused one, none of my 4 GC wanted one, eldest sucks his thumb, (16yrs).
It's all a matter of individual choice. Personally I hate them!

My op was about photos of children with dummies-' not whether they should be used or not.
Just seems a shame to take a photo to show how lovely a child looks-' then obscure part of their face with coloured plastic

One of mine had one (the other refused) which from the age of about 18mths never left the bedroom and was given to Santa when she was just over 2 yrs in exchange for her Christmas presents.
What I hate to see is the scenario in the supermarket cafe the other day. Happy smiley baby approx. 10-12 mths who had just had food and drink and was then sat back in the trolley and mum immediately stuck the dummy in, why ?

I think that islf you g child needs a dummy (or anything else) to help them get to sleep that's quite understandable and not really anyone else's business but quite why children need comforting when walking down the road is a bit of a mystery to me. The op is making a point about photos and I agree that a dummy spoils a gorgeous baby face.

So much nonsense spoken about dummies. Both my kids had them , but only to sleep,my daughter ‘til she was two and half and my son ‘til about 14 months. They are 41 and 38 respectively and both have NO fillings in perfectly straight teeth. Neither of them had speech problems, and so-called ‘numerous’ stomach infections just never happened. Both my daughters children have had them as well, and no problems with them either. Each to their own.Id op for a nights sleep over a crying child all day long.

I realise that this is a long-winded reply but please read as it may give some insight into why dummies are around longer for some children.

My GD is autistic and my DD put this on her blog.

So, the Beckhams are in trouble for allowing 4 year old Harper a dummy. All those sanctimommies are baying for blood! Well, lock me up now, cos there's no way Tink's giving up hers any time soon!Yes, I am WELL aware of the potential damage it's doing to her teeth, and I am VERY aware that it's probably stopping her from talking (oh no, wait, that's actually more likely to be her condition, but hell, the dummy must be making it worse, cos she does a lot of talking in her sleep...!) But, you know what? She usually only has it for sleeping and if she's poorly. If the dummy police want to come and spend some time in my shoes, with an overtired, overstimulated grumpy girl, who will calm down INSTANTLY the second that dummy is in her mouth, then they're most welcome. They can try and take it off her. They can try and explain the damage it's doing to her. You can talk to her all you like about giving them to the dummy fairy or the pigs at the farm - she wouldn't have the foggiest idea of what you were talking about. You can't reason with a girl like Tink.I used to hate seeing older children with dummies. I possibly was a sanctimommy, but now, like lots of other things, I try to look at the bigger picture and wonder if there's a good reason as to why. And, at the end of the day, Harper is the Beckham's child, and they can do what they jolly well like, within reason!

Nanny27, some children are overwhelmed by stuff when walking down the street. For example, the sound of traffic lights, the sound of a motorbike, etc can send some of the children into a tailspin. They may (or may not) grow out of it but if it brings comfort, why on earth wouldn't you use it?

Likewise, I hate seeing toddlers and older children with a dummy stuck in their mouths. My three had them for about six weeks & then thankfully they 'spat the dummy' I certainly wouldn't have let them use one for more than a few months. Much preferred it when one of them sucked a thumb for a coupon of years.

None of mine had a dummy, but all were offered one. One daughter sucked her tongue whilst fiddling with the hem of her clothing - now she's 42 and she still sucks her tongue when she's stressed. Another daughter sucked her thumb until she was eight and is very fortunate that her teeth, which stuck out because of the thumb sucking, regained their shape. My older son had a fresh muslin every day and learned to self soothe with that and his younger brother soothed himself with cotton wool balls. The younger two were brilliant - they'd get tired, I'd hand over a muslin to one and cotton balls to the other and they'd be asleep in no time. If they were anxious (hospital/doctor visits) I'd hand over the appropriate soother and calm would descend. If a dummy had served the same purpose and my child had accepted it I would have used one.

grandson got rid of dummy at 4 (3 months ago)
his teeth are perfect his speech is spot on.

I don't see anything wrong letting babies have a dummy. If it's not a dummy then often it's a comfort blanket ( one of my grandchildren used to suck her comfort blanket), or worse become a thumb sucker which is a habit that tends to last a lot longer than a dummy. As long as they are cleaned and sterilised regularly in the same way you would a bottle or feeding cup then I don't see a problem if they give a little baby or child some comfort.

It is the constant judgement that people seem willing to dish out and no mine never had a dummy and I can’t stop I give a shiny farthing if other children have one. As long as the kids are well looked after and developing well then quite frankly what’s the problem. As showergelfresh pointed out a lot of parents have more important things to worry themselves about.

My eldest boy stopped have a bottle at less than a year - his choice and refused a dummy. There was a problem with this because he sucked his thumb instead, and several times sucked the skin off and it was extremely difficult. He sucked other things as well and went through school caps one after another. When the second one came along he wanted his bottle and his dummy and he was allowed them. He never sucked anything else and it was a relief. Babies have dummies for all sorts of reasons. It is a comfort to them and can help them get through teething. Neither of mine had funny shaped mouths. I remember a lecturer on professional child care saying that we should not take babies off the bottle until they had a few teeth because they get a lot of pleasure from sucking and until that can be replaced with biting we should not take it away. I think of all the babies, only months old, I have seen screaming for a bottle because their mothers put them on solids too soon.

My DD had a dummy at night until her 3rd birthday. We warned her in advance it would go but nevertheless it was like I imagine coming off crack cocaine. She was climbing the walls for a week. Her own DD is 5 months and only grandchild to have had one but she has had it taken away but doesn’t seem too bothered.

Lincolnimp You took the words out of my mouth. I child-minded for a while. One Mum told me that her 3-year-old was 'addicted' to her dummy. Within a few days she had stopped using it in my house. Mum would pick up the dummy and shove it into the child's mouth as soon as she arrived to take her home.
I had to bite my tongue!