Thank God Xmas is over!

Wish I could replay the 25th.The last few years I have tried to stay strong and supportive for my devorced DD and Dgd &Dgs but my teenage Dgd, who I am very close to,has ocd. This led to a Xmas melt down between them and I usually manage to calm things down but I interfered with their interaction and made things 100 times worse. I think I may have lost the trust of my Dgd now and my daughter thinks I am blaming her but I know she is at her wits end. If only I had gone out of the room.

‘If only’ must be the saddest two words ever ?

Wow. 18 and 14 how do you do it, morethan2.
Respect (bow) hope your family appreciate all your hard work.

Personally I love the period between Christmas and New Year - no cooking or shopping! Or hardly any - lots of lovely leftovers to eat up - not just turkey - we still have a lot of gammon.
Not to mention all the Christmas chocs we were too full for on the day. Still lots of mince pies, too.
I won't even think about dieting till the decorations come down on 6th Jan.

Hope things have settled down for you teaforone and the upset has been forgotten

We had a great time with the family, for which I am grateful as the last few years have been difficult. Once we have eaten all the surplus food, I am looking forward to a new healthier eating regime to try to get rid of some weight.

Sadly our worst Xmas in ages.Too complex to go into here but family dynamics -2 DDs who are Xmas fanatics and want everything the same,one who is not and was ill before Xmas and then working part of it.Me trying as usual to make everything right,and then making it worse.Culminating in a big row with grumpy DD yesterday.I wish I'd never bothered!And I feel very sad today.Going to draw a line under it and next year will not be hosting the big meal and family for almost a week.DH and I deserve a break !

Considering our circumstances this year we had a quiet but very nice Christmas Day at youngest daughters. Eldest daughter (newly widowed) was at home with her children and friends. We are all glad its over though and looking forward to a better 2019. Happy New Year to all here.

Lovely photo Teetime. To revert to another thread, not how I imagined you at all!

Not over here , second wave arrives tomorrow , slight lull today . I just let it roll over me and no one said a word (in my hearing ) when I upped and left several times . So Peace and Love all round

Teetime I can barely imagine the pain of this first Christmas but from my experience last year, I was probably still numb with the shock of the whole experience of bereavement.
I had thought the worst was over and somehow things would revert to a sort of normality this year, just without Paw but it was not like that. I went through the motions of tree and cards and decorations and overcatering but my heart was not in it.
Once the children and grandchildren arrived on Christmas Day and Boxing Day things picked up -your spirits have to lift at their excitement and happiness, and I was too busy to dwell on my inner feelings, but now they have gone, deep down I am glad it is behind me (not “over” if you see the difference)
I had wanted a quiet C Eve on my own to get ready and reflect, perhaps enjoy my memories but that was a disaster and much of the day and night found me in tears.
I learned this is the rest of my life. Despite a loving family there is loneliness, there are regrets and those are hard to leave behind.
So it marks another (unwelcome) stage in the grieving process - moving on, when what I really want to do is hang on to the past with my fingernails.
Heaven knows what the turn of the year will bring.
Deep breaths, early night and a good book.

I am sorry aggie, bluesapphire alygran and all the others I should have mentioned. Grieving can make one shortsighted sometimes, I did not mean to sound so self centred.

Ps the title of the OP is very strange, considering whose birthday we are supposed to be celebrating
Jalima; Just the other day we had a visit from a couple "pushing" the Bible ( there were the usual 6 other couples up and down the street) insisting that we "celebrate" His birthday at the wrong time! She even produced a bible to prove something or other and seeing as how I had a couple of hours to spare I was prepared to find out when, but they suddenly realised they had been overtaken in the "procession" by their mates and had to chase after them. This was a doorstep discussion; I've been told never to let them in the house, otherwise "you'll never get rid of them" Sounds cruel, but not being at all religious, just curious, it didn't bother me. Extremely nice people though!
Anybody here know what the "true" date is? Happy New Year!

Rufus I think it is clear what some of us feel and it’s not just a superficial “TG no more queuing at the supermarket”
You will know where we are coming from too.
But I appreciate your attempt to lighten the tone with a sense of humour.

Maw grief is different but difficult for all. I am sure anyone in a similar situation understands how especially hard festive and cebratory times are.

celebratory!

I'm glad it's over (although there is still New Year to get through). Christmas day was lovely as I had family here,
but the rest of the time I was on my own. I felt bored and restless. Also guilty for being an ungrateful wretch; there are people much worse off than me.
I shall go for a long walk today and shake this off, hopefully.

Rufus I think it is clear what some of us feel
Maw; Absolutely; Crystal clear! As you may, or maybe not, recall, my dear Vera died Christmas Eve 2015 at 4.40pm. 5 days after our 62nd Wedding Anniversary. I was at her bedside in palliative care all day to the moment when she suddenly stopped breathing. She'd been in a coma all day, but nursing experts say that such patients know you are present even though they can't respond in any way. Although nobody can predict what their reaction would be, I found myself surprisingly "cool, calm and collected". I'd spent the day rambling on about our life memories. Vera's death had been inevitable for 3 months from diagnosis and she refused any sort of therapy. At 86 all her marbles were in better shape than mine, but she knew there was to be no further quality of life after therapy, so she calmly took the only option.
I now spent all Christmases on my own apart from a few Shirazs and memories. Also my PC! I'm never into "Knees-up Mother Brown"
Btw; "Humour" has been my antidote, but I always try not to use it out of place.
Happy New Year

A very moving post, Rufus.

Happy New Year to you too when it comes (I think yours arrives slightly before ours, but I hope we’ll see a bit more of you before then!).

I thought you might be singing from the same hymn sheet Rufus but as I said, I applaud your resilience and upbeat posts
though regardless.

Happy New Year, Rufus.

Title of this thread seems a bit ungracious.

Rufus I agree about the “cool, calm and collected” — it is a sort of combination of shock, the grief of loss but also a sense of relief from the torture of wondering if the eyes will snap open and it was all a bad dream but also an end you knew was inevitable. Let’s face it, it was what we signed up for all those years ago wasn’t it?
I am just finding it is taking much longer to wear off than I thought and the process of adjusting to a new sort of life a lengthy process.
Sorry, getting maudlin - is it too early for a ?

Rufus, I heard on the radio the other day that the majority of historians now believe 28th March to be Christ's birthday.

Happy New Year to you.

Oh lor, do you mean we have to do it all again in March? ????