in-laws

I don't see what the fact that your daughter in law is from Eastern Europe and, according to you, doesn't have citizenship has got to do with anything. If you project that sort of attitude perhaps that is one of the reasons the relationship has gone wrong.

You say you told your son that you were moving away and he said nothing. Given the amount of animosity, what did you expect him to say? Are you going to move or was it just a threat? Why is your daughter in law "terrified" to bump into you?

Perhaps your son's wife is controlling, or perhaps there's a battle for control from both parties. It's difficult for anyone to know on the information available.

no. spoke with dil over xmas. my brother and sil were here and suggested they go and see them. dil in law said yes. i asked if me and hubby could also visit grandkids as we hadn't seen them for 3years. the answer was no. so i swore at dil. maybe i shouldnt have done, but i've been ostracised by them for years. it;s not nice. swearing helps. i simply dont knowwhat else to do. nothing works towards mending y
this awful situation. so i do voluntary work instead where i can be of some use to someone.

I am so sorry. Your son sounds a very weak man to put his wife's feelings above his parents,children and himself. You can only hope that the curiosity of the children will mean they will want contact with you at some time. Hopefully your son will come to his senses and face up to the control his wife has over the family.

I am not sure I am understanding this correctly - you have been no contact with them for three years now? Was that the last time you spoke with any of them?

Well for a ‘foreigner’ she has mastered the language if you have reported her words verbatim.