Noise

I think this is a difficult situation and imagine it plays on your mind a lot. If you can't hear yourself talking to them, I think ear plugs are a good idea. Or perhaps you could you sleep in a different room?

In my experience, there are a lot of people who just don't realise how their behaviour affects other people and lack the capacity to reflect or empathise. Perhaps they would respond favourably if you had a gentle word with them? I think it'd be best to talk to the young person directly, rather than through his parents, as he is an adult. May be highlighting the noise problem will have a knock-on effect with his parents.

We had a similar problem with a neighbour's daughter's boyfriend - he used to honk the car's horn (many times) when he came round to pick her up (rude, eh?!). At the time I had a new and fractious baby. At the end of my tether I took him, screaming at the top of his lungs, out to the guy and asked if he'd like to get the baby back to sleep as he'd done such a good job of waking him up. He didn't do it again!

I question whether car doors need to be slammed to shut? Over 40 years of car ownership this hasn't been the case with us!

I hope you get it sorted so you can sleep in peace.

I live in a block of flats which in the day and night is very quiet so is the road in fact but my two neighbours either side always slam there doors in the morning and when they come home of a night. So annoying.

I have a seventeen year old Grandson who came to say hello on a Saturday night as he was passing, in his old car, I heard this terrible noise, thought it was the engine, but no it was the MUSIC blaring out of his car, I rushed out to tell him to turn the whole thing off thinking of the neighbour oposite (we dont have close neighbours) he doesnt slam doors, but the music was so loud.I hope he doesnt turn up too often, or if he does, turn the music down!

One of my greatest joys of being retired is listening to people leaving for work on a cold and miserable morning and snuggling under the duvet for a bit longer knowing I don't have to go to work.

I hope you feel able to speak to the neighbour about door slamming.
I have the opposite problem. One woman in our block firmly believes she owns the whole place and constantly complains to everyone about the most ridiculous things!!! The latest thing with me is me shutting an internal door! Yes I do shut it, I don't slam it , & I'm entitled to shut my doors in my property! She's had showdowns with other neighbours about their children crying 2 floors above her!!! Nobody in the block is anti social, it's communal living, people make noise in their daily lives. Nobody is having parties or obnoxious guests, she is just one of life's moaners!!! But it's fine for her to slam her front door every night and waken me!!! I now just shut the door. There is no reasoning with her I'm afraid ?.

yes you are being petty,people going to work need to close doors.I dont know about anyone else but our garage door makes a terrible racket as does our car door.Nothing I can do to change it,it is what it is .Sad to say most of us need to work to live so going out in our cars isn't debatable.Just be glad you can turn over and go back to sleep
And maybe try to remember what its like to be a wage slave ,its not all fun and games and many folk really do have a daily grind .Us old fogies need to learn to live and let live !

They are being very thoughtless, aren't they. And you are not being unreasonable. But I know from past experience that falling out with neighbours is far worse than any noise they might make. It can create a bad atmosphere for years. So a softly softly approach is needed. (something they could learn from!). I agree with others who say try ear plugs etc. Or sleep in a different room etc...
But if that fails then maybe a few words said in a friendly manner might help. I do sympathise and wish you good luck.

It's not petty at all.
People can be so thoughtless.Revving cars ,door slamming, and my personal hate,people who drive around with windows open and 'music' blaring.
I don't want to hear any of these sounds and regard them all as an invasion of my privacy.Totally selfish.

yes turn the bad thoughts into good ones - for your own sake. Perhaps I'm getting deaf - as I live in a student area - in which case you could think 'wow I'm not getting deaf. 'And mindfulness practise always helps. turn up the radio.
I remember my mum telling me how she was driven round the bend by her upwardly mobile energetic young family next door, that she wanted to keep onside, always making such a racket...always having builders in, or the chidren trampolining and screaming till all hours so she thought she would have a word. She ended it by saying and is there anything about me that you find annoying please do say (secure in her fautlessness) well yes the neighbour replied your television is too loud. She was outraged but we did think it was funny

I think the problem is not noise. It’s the anger you feel when you hear the noise that keeps you awake. It IS infuriating. Our neighbours son had a very noisy car which he insisted on reversing up their drive loudly at 1.15 in the morning. It maddened me when he could have swung in front ways much more quietly. I used to lie and fume. Happily he has bought a new and much quieter car so all is well now.
Buy earplugs by all means. Try to feel welcoming to the noise ie isn’t it good that they are going to work and I am not! It’s your anger you need to try to control because that’s what keeps you awake. Good luck with it. It is a horrible problem and you are not at all unreasonable.

GabriellaG that's wonderful!

So glad its not just me disturbed by neighbours. Mine are OK until drinking nights roll around, which as they work odd shifts can be any nights of the week. Each time the chap finishes a bottle of beer he walks out of the back door slamming it loudly, opens the wheelie bin, throws in the bottle with a crash and then lets go of the bin lid which bangs. The bins are directly in line with our bedroom windows and I prefer to sleep with the top window open. If its a heavy night this ritual goes on and on to the early hours. No use having a quiet word with them as I know from experience it provokes a torrent of abuse. I bought a white noise machine from Amazon and earplugs. It works, but I cant ever have the window open.

My husband is one of the ones who has to leave the house at 6am so has to shut the car door and also run the engine in mid winter. He's very considerate of the neighbours but as the couple on one side also leave the house early I don't think it's a problem. What was a problem was when we had an apartment on the second floor of a block and the tenant above had a running machine above the main bedroom - they regularly started exercising after we'd gone to bed - it sounded like the ceiling was coming down! So inconsiderate!

If you are able to avoid confrontation with your neighbours it would be better so maybe try the earplugs before saying anything to them or the lad himself.

Write to Elon Musk asking him to invent car doors that can be closed quietly.

Slamming wardrobe doors is the problem with my next door neighbours. I creep around trying to make as little noise as possible getting ready for bed. It is the way I was brought up.

Also a dog who barks everytime I use my own pathway. Left in back yard and never taken out. I have a dog who only barks when it hears this one but I stop him right away.

we had lovely neighbours who we got on with very well. however the husband liked his music, and because he used headphones he didn't realise how loud the music was. didn't want to fall out with him so I had a cunning plan!I had an eight hour chimeing clock. I set it so it chimed every quarter of an hour and placed it on a shelf on the adjoining wall.saw him out the garden the next day and he commented on the chimes. I said "I'm surprised you could hear them over your music"we didn't fall out remained good friends until we moved. sometimes there's an easy solution.

We had lovely neighbours whose sons acquired mini motorbikes on which they would tear up and down the cliff path at all hours of day and night. It used to infuriate us but we didn’t want bad feeling between us so we kept windows closed and used earplugs. Two years later they went off to uni and peace prevailed on all counts. Now they have cars and we rarely hear them aa they have matured into thoughtful young men. Hopefully your neighbours son will eventually grow up and be more considerate, go away to work or move in with a girlfriend/boyfriend. You’ll be glad you kept the peace especially as you get older and more in need of good neighbours.

When my FIL had the same problem with a neighbour who ignored his polite complaint, he went out one night under cover of darkness with a large potato and mallet and rammed the potato up his exhaust pipe. Neighbour was there for ages the following morning wondering why his car wouldn't start! There was no more engine revving! Unfortunately these days it would probably set off his car alarm, but at least you'd have the satisfaction of disturbing them for a change.

Seriously though, try talking to the young man if he is a pleasant sort of chap. He may be a heavy sleeper and have no idea how the noise affects his neighbours. Also I think many drivers find the noisy clunk of their doors a reassurance that it is firmly closed. I do think car manufacturers could find a quieter closure method. Good luck.

If they are good neighbours in all other ways would get earplugs and to be honest as I'm up for work at 6 every morning I can't wait to hear my neighbour going off to work then turn over and have another couple of hours sleep roll on retirement

Similar problem with a lovely upstairs neighbour being heavy footed. I bought ear plugs. Not the foam ones but the wax ones that mould in your ear and I found very successful.

I understand others frustrations about noisy car doors. My neighbour opposite leaves at 6am. He opens and then slams every, and I mean every door on his car and when he turns the engine on his radio blares out. We live on a street without lighting, but he still parks facing the wrong way, so has to turn around in the road, so in addition to being woken up, I have my bedroom lit up like its daylight. His wife is as bad. She leaves about 7am, but decides that's the time to empty her bag of glass bottles into the recyling bin. There are many other inconsiderate things they do, like having bonfires and parking right across the pavement. I've been on the verge of complaining, but I don't want a problem as I think they're completly ignorant of the problems they cause and I do understand people have to go to work. Other neighbours also leave early, but they manage to close the car door with enough force to close it, without slamming them!

Sleep is never petty. You need to catch one of them - whichever one you feel most comfortable talking to - and say that you are being woken late at night and in the morning, and ask if they could be a little quieter please. Re. sports car - can't see a way out of that, but I would consider switching bedrooms to the back if your friendly words don't amount to anything.

Thought you might like to know what happened next! The young man was washing his car yesterday evening so I went across and admired it. He went into a long explanation of its mechanics (all of which went over my head!). I then said it was a lovely car but that it was a bit noisy and I always knew what time he arrived home at night. Poor man was so sorry, it hadn't crossed his mind that he was disturbing people. He said he understood if I got annoyed as his parents slamming car doors in the morning disturbed him - my reply "Hm, yes I had noticed!"

I accepted that sports cars are noisy but he also accepted that he should be aware that he could be disturbing people. Win win situation. I got my point across without upsetting the neighbours and he has promised not to rev the engine when he gets home or slam the car doors.

As a bonus he has offered to take me for a ride in the car on Sunday, although I have made the proviso that I will only go if he promises not to drop me off at the nearest old peoples' home!

No, you're not being petty. Dedicated car door slammers are a pest! I've never figured out how a car with one occupant - the driver - needs to have it's door/doors slammed at least 4 times!

Are these people paranoid about their bangers getting nicked or just bloody thick?

Full marks Oldwoman70... Now that's how to handle a delicate situation ???
Enjoy your ride..!