To be annoyed with my DGD.

My limited experience of Spanish offspring of British parents is that the kids have a much greater sense of entitlement than their British families deem desirable.

Great stuff!

Hope the visit all goes well.

Update. All is harmony and light here, well, give and take. Boyfriend on put you up and sixteen year old DGD has accepted without any moans. Result.

To me it seems odd that some parents encourage a sixteen year old to be in an adult type relationship.

I also don't think the thirteen year old should be expected to share a room with her sister and boyfriend while they are sharing a bed.

Seems to me some parents can't deny their children anything.

My reply has nothing to do with whether or not they're sleeping together. It is all about not calling the shots when Nandalot is paying for the whole family to celebrate a milestone birthday in such a special way. It's downright disrespectful and I don't know what the DDIL and DS are playing at even thinking it's acceptable for the DGD to put Nandalot in this position.

Annsixty, I'm with you. One of mine age 17 asked if she and boyfriend of 18 months could share her bed when he was staying here after a night out, I'd encouraged her to talk to me when contraception was needed, she did and saw our GP with my full support as aged over 16 by then. I refused to let them share a bed in our home because I said it would set a precedent for the next bofriend, the one after that. Also, they had any number of opportunities to be alone in our home, or boyfriends parents home, so no need for the back if some bushes in the park.
By second year at university, they brought home steady boyfriends and shared a room. I still feel 16 is young, not to be having a sexual relationship but to be insisting on putting the rest of the family out to prove a point.

This isn't really about whether your eldest DGD does or does not sleep with her boyfriend, it is about whether it is appropriate for the youngest DGD to share a room with a couple including a 16 year old boy who is not family. So, no, he can sleep where you decide. Odds on the lad would have been a bit embarrassed anyway. I would go for boy's dorm and girl's dorm.

Annsixty I d prefer them to be doing it in their own home than the back of some bushes in the park..... We ve all been there ( haven't we?) ?

This could be seen as "pushing the envelope" to put it kindly, or taking the piss to put it more bluntly!

And I also agree will Wilma what do the parents have to say?

AND all those who say "your house, your rules".

Sometimes Granny gets to play the good guy, sometimes she doesn't.

Do her parents let them sleep together at home? They wouldn't if they were mine but times change and so does society.
It would still be "not in my house ".

Couldn't agree more. I would even go as far as literally using the phrase My house, my rules in the conversation. If that results in dropping out, sulks or what ever, then so be it. Don't let this spoil the celebrations.

And if this rumbles on a bit of emotional blackmail wouldn't come amiss by saying to both the DDIL and DGD that they wouldn't want to spoil the celebrations over this.

Where is your DS in all of this? Has he got his head in the sand or something and ignoring the situation?

Tell her if she is that desperate she can share the put-u up with him, and sister and brother can have the beds, but no way is he getting into the bedroom. Alternatively she can sleep in a proper bed with her sister. Bet she goes for the bed, teenagers today like their home comforts!

Times have moved on and if the parents are happy to her sharing a room with her boyfriend in their house that's their business but it's totally unacceptable for a 13 year old to be sharing with two love birds so yes I think the two boys /two girls rule as Mawboon suggested is completely acceptable and is exactly what I would offer

If they are determined to 'get together' while over here, they will find a way. In the meantime, you house, your rules - the put u up for him!!

I think we have to accept that the younger generation has a much more relaxed attitude to sharing rooms and beds with members of the opposite sex - and cannot understand why we see it as a problem. But it really is not appropriate for the younger sister to be in the same room. And if you feel at all uncomfortable about the request you have every right to turn it down

I was not allowed to sleep with my fiancée in my family home even though we had been together for years and I was 19 ! Stick to your guns , a 16 yr old shouldn't be dictating where and with whom she sleeps . It is not fair on the younger GD either . The DIL should be backing you up not giggling !

Your house. Your rules.

I agree with the other posters; your house your rules. I'd also expect my S to support my decision and TBH would be ratherif he knew about the request and hadn't 'put it to bed' (sorry about the pun but couldn't resist) before it was ever mentioned to me.

Hope you all have a wonderful time and your DH enjoys his birthday celebrations.

I would expect the parents to explain tell their 16 yo that it's grandparents house and therefore their rules. Also to remind her that you are paying.
Do her and BF share a room at home, I wonder.

I'd be annoyed with her parents. Why aren't they simply telling their daughter that her grandparents don't want them sharing a room at their house. Also, what kind of example are they setting if they're ok with a 13 year old sharing a room with them.

I agree with Greyduster, your house your rules.

Unreasonable request ...why on earth would her 13 year old sister want to share a room with her sisters sixteen year old boyfriend?? It shouldn't even be considered! What on earth do her parents think, or don't they know?

Thanks for your comments. Pleased I am not alone.

Girls' dorm and boys' dorm? 2 girls together, the much younger brother and boyfriend together.
Or stick to your guns. 16 is very young to be sharing (!) with BF.

Stick to your guns. Your house, your arrangements. They'll get over it. I hope you all have a lovely time!?