Anniversaries from a Past Life

I don't do 'if only' but I do remember. I had a miscarriage in 1981 and that baby would have been born in April 1982. Their '21st birthday' fell on Easter Day and at the family meal we toasted our unknown and unborn member.
But if that baby had been born would DD2 be here? Probably not.

2nd July is my fathers anniversary and those few weeks after that always make me sad, as he died suddenly on a cruise with my mum celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. My siblings and I were all away from home, and I had to be contacted by the local police station to where I was camping...... nightmare stuff. My poor mother had to be flown home from next cruise port and my dads body was kept on board till cruise finished 3 weeks later, for post mortem on land! 33 years ago but still find memories of that time difficult!

I can't read much of this - it is too, too sad. I have many of these dates, particularly one, which stay in my head - not in the diary or calendar but stuck there unwanted. June and September are months I would gladly sleep right through. You reach an age when the past is much much longer than the future and people and events swim around unbidden in the memory however much you try to keep them out.

My wedding anniversary from my first wedding (divorced, he's dead now) is one day before my youngest's birthday and his birthday was one day after mine so I always remember both. My second husband and my father shared a birthday (both now dead) so that's a date I never forget.

The anniversary of my sons death September 3rd died 2007

My twin brother died on 7th August 1970. On Sunday I'm going (at last) to the place where he died, near Staines.

I got divorced after almost 17 years of marriage and look on the years since with a sense of relief that I got out and what I and our 5 children have achieved since.

I never look back, no good thinking of what might have been. What's gone is gone, History. Look to the future who knows what is in store?

Don't remember Anniversaries or Birthdays of my first & second husband - my late DH was the absolute love of my life & we had been together nearly 23 years, married for nearly 21 years when he died. This year was hard as it would have been our Silver Wedding in August. Also I'll never be able to forget his Birthday as DD & her OH celebrated their Civil Partnership on his 69th Birthday.

I don't consciously think about Anniversaries & Birthdays, my DD was born on on my DGD Birthday - I had never thought about that until she was born (he died when I was 16, 9 years before DD was born) & to cheer those of you with sad memories

Oh Felice how horrible of her. My mother was fond of praising my ex and my sister's ex and wondering how we couldn't manage to be happy with them but even she would not have deliberately hurt us like that. So glad you are happy now.

My parents never celebrated their wedding anniversary which was on the 8th August which always seemed a bit sad but my father was very unsentimental so I just assumed he didn't want to.
This year, looking at ancestory.com after it popped up, the date is given as the 15th September one year later than they told us. This would have meant that I was the honeymoon baby rather than my older sister. I remember saying to someone as a child once that my sister was born 9 months after my parents were married and she looked at me with a strange look an said 'no she wasn't'.
It is very frustrating because I cannot ask my mother now as she has kept the secret this long but it makes understanding the family dynamic very hard to understand when I thought I had worked out excuses for my father's nastiness towards me (my sister is perfect in every way). It is also possible that it is just a mistake by ancestor.com but I can't be bothered to get a marriage certificate and part of me doesn't want to.
Sorry this has gone a bit off topic. It is just the mention of anniversaries and today's date made me think about my mother never celebrating hers.

I managed to summon up the courage to divorce my husband after 24 years. I've been divorced 20 years now. He was a control freak and I've never regretted it. The problem is the anniversary is on 11 September, a date that's very hard to forget. We would have been married 45 years. If I had my time again I would never get married at 20. I met him when I was 18 and it's far too young.

Why on earth would she do that? What a hateful thing to do, especially as your ex-husband was so nasty to you. You'd think she would be glad you found someone else and were now happy.

I lost my dear grandma on September 11th 2015. She was 99 years old.

She would have been 100 on 6th September this year. Sad days.

I remember the dates of two miscarriages both more than 25 years ago .I did go on to have much loved second child I wouldn't swap for the world But I do sometimes wonder what those babies might have been like
I always remember my parents birthdays though not so much the anniversaries of their deaths

I do always think fondly about my first husband (with whom I get on very well & still see at family gatherings) on our anniversary. I left him for 2nd husband & I do feel twinges of guilt on that day more than any other.Much as I love DH2 I regret the hurt I caused & always will.

Even though I have been happily remarried for 20 years, I still find November a difficult month. 8th - first husband's and my wedding anniversary, 11th - Remembrance Sunday (my first husband was a serving RM when he died), 13th - anniversary of first husband's death. Fortunately my second husband is a very understanding man!

What a stupid thing your mum did Felice to keep sending wedding anniversary cards after you split! I would of been furious!

Oh, I didn't expect so many replies! For some they are very sad anniversaries and for others Hey-ho. I might not have thought too much about it if my DH hadn't been away this week. I probably would have just said to him 'Hey it's my Ruby wedding today' and we would have giggled and got on with the day but when you're by yourself things can get to you a bit more.
So sorry for all of you who have sad memories of certain dates xxx

It does make sense Annie - you are still in love with someone who never grew old, and you can't feel how it would be to love him now.

to all.

I never remember sad anniversaries, I erase them from my mind. For example we (my brother and sister and I) always remember my mother on what would have been her birth day, rather than the anniversary of her death (although I do remember what year it was, couldn't tell you the date).

What is so strange is the fact my grandson at 24 is older than my husband was when we married , i am in love with a man forty years younger them me but cannot feel any love for him now - don't think that makes sense sorry

My sad day that I always remember is 3rd November. That was the date of birth of our stillborn little boy, our first baby. Today it would be classed as medical negligence, but at the time we were told "a shame, but one of those things". We now have three lovely children but I still miss him.

Like you, OP, I instigated my divorce (after 25+yrs of marriage) and the date of our wedding anniversary is annually in my consciousness. I tend to think in terms of the 20 happy years we had following the wedding rather than the remaining years which led to the divorce. Makes it a more positive musing, really.

My wedding day was New Year's Eve and, like Tegan, I can't forget the date even though we are divorced. Thought it was a good idea at the time - out with the old, in with the new life ...

The other anniversary I always remember is my father's death in 1964 in a car accident. It's not that I miss him but that I was sad for my mother being left to cope alone by another person's misdeeds.

To Anniebach and everyone else saddened by thoughts of what might have been ((hugs)) and

My first husband was a cruel abusive man, I got out and tried to leave that pert of my life behind. For 10 years my Mother sent me an anniversary card on the day of my first wedding, even though I had re-married and had children.
She did it just to be cruel, it was my new husband who had it out with her and finally put a stop to it.