What I find odd is that my DH doesn't fold in his car key therefore the actual key bit tears his pockets. He only has to click the wee button and the key bit folds in. It mystifies me!
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My DDH is a wonderful, delightful and loving man but he has one habit that drives me to distraction. His pockets are so full in his trousers that he looks like he is wearing saddlebags. Goodness knows what he needs all this crap stuff for. We weighed them one day and the total was over 5lb.
When he was in hospital last year they needed two, yes two trays for his personal items.
One problem is that the weight of the pockets pulls on his back pocket which in turn rips at the seam. No amount of pleading will make him reduce the contents.
2 x hankies (one for nose and other for cleaning specs)
Key wallet with at least 6 keys inside.
Caravan Keys
2 sets of car keys
shed key
large Swiss Army Knife
magnifying lense (to identify insects etc)
coins, coins, coins
mobile phone
old film case (to pop specimens into)
nail clippers
(sometimes toenail clippers)
I despair, does anyone else's beloved carry such a jumble of stuff around?
When changing from one pair to another it takes an age while he fill the saddlebags pockets. When he was weighed at the hospital the other week the nurse looked astounded as he emptied his pockets onto a chair.
What I find odd is that my DH doesn't fold in his car key therefore the actual key bit tears his pockets. He only has to click the wee button and the key bit folds in. It mystifies me!
Flower in that case, you have my very greatest sympathies as DBH (dearly beloved husband) is an area butterfly counter and identifier. I am a Butterfly Widow during the summer holidays, but it does mean that we are allowed to go for walks through areas usually not open to the public. At these times he carries a large rucksack and I carry a shooting stick and a kindle. The coffee goes in his rucksack. 
Ha! Yes i have a man like that. Swiss army knife, magnifying glass but also a pair of binoculars and a camera usually end up going in my bag too. On our recent holiday i made him take a small rucksack to carry it all. Apparently carrying a swiss army knife around is in case you have to skin a rabbit for survival , i suppose the magnifying is to start the fire.
janerowena we met through a love of natural history and it is my love too. My DBH was county recorder for many years and he was also Countryside Officer and Head of Natural History for our area. He still give wildlife talks, walks and runs courses on the subject. May have crossed paths sometime. 
I too love butterflies, but I do at times suffer a little because of his far greater (than mine) dedication to the cause. My DBH is small fry compared to your DBH, but he still works fulltime and is an athlete and a singer and has so many other hobbies that I can't keep up. I can quite see him getting more dedicated to it when he finally retires, though. I can think of far worse things that he could have felt like doing in his spare time.
My OH doesn't carry much except a lot of keys...infact I'm sure there are old keys on there that he doesn't remember what they go to. I carry a small purse with as little as possible but I do have a U.S. Marine knife in the middle of my car seat compartment. It was sold to me for cutting a seat belt and smashing out the window if my car ever ended up in a river!Women must be prepared also! 
Dear Flower
Is that all? My DH when challenged carries the house keys for his mother 's house(left home nearly 50 years ago,she moved 20 years ago and died 10)all the car keys,mine included,pristine hanky,a bottle opener ,our house ,garage and former office demolished many years ago keys,golf tees,bottle opener for emergencies and crumpled bank notes which he scatters behind him like some benevolent despot. Phones and wallets,lists and diary at least fifteen years old as it has useful phone numbers and it is all tossed onto something euphemistically called a gentle mans tidy at night generally missing and pockmarking the bedside table. No small change as he doesn't do shrapnel.this is not an exhaustive list.
Love
S
Flower Is it your hubby who leaves unpicked owl pellets about the house?
Um! no not as I have noticed. I have had a mole in the freezer and several small demised birds, a live kestrel in the boot of the car, a gannet on my lap in the Hebrides, a dab chick in the bath for the night. Many many other creatures have inhabited my house, hedgehog complete with fleas in the kitchen, an exhausted pheasant in the rabbit hutch, an exhausted magpie in the rabbit hutch. We have had the odd owl pellet and skull of a puffin and badger on the bookcase, Hebridean sheep's skull and roe deer in the garden.
We have had gigantic Moon Moths flying up and down the lounge and laying eggs on my nets. Guests were startled when this massive winged insect flopped up and down the lounge.
Goodness Stansgran, looks like I have it lucky. I did read out the list that I had posted and he looked amazed and declared 'That's an awful lot of stuff to carry around, Oh! is it me?' penny dropped.
Ok Flower I believe you. 
Someone on GN was complaining that their Oh had left some dissected owl pellets in a kitchen table or other such unsuitable place. It was the magnifying glass and mention of insects that made me think it might be him.
Could very well have been but can't remember an incident. I remember his lovely mum scrabbling about on her hands and knees at a wildlife sanctuary trying to get a pellet from the inside of a Snowy Owls aviary. She was so pleased with her prize and DDH daren't tell her that it would only contain the bones of a day old chick
as they all did.
My DH travels light. Nothing but his wallet. However he will constantly give me things to put in my handbag. This really annoys me as he thinks my bag is a bottomless pit. He won't put anything in his pockets.
SWAP inishowen 
My DDH was searching for the garage key to rescue the cat basket to take our sore-bottomed cat to the vets. Three guesses where the key was?
Mea culpa.
Wallet (bulging with old receipts), car keys, caravan keys, Swiss army knife, 2 pens, hankie, tissues, wet wipes, hand sanitizer (grandson likes to use it), loose change, mobile phone, torch and a magnet on the end of an extendable rod (very useful).
Wife got so fed up with it all that for Christmas she bought me a pair of "cargo pants" that have ELEVEN pockets. Just think of all the extra stuff I can carry now!
I am sure DH could outdo everybody in the filling of pockets. We have a very large bunch of keys and he kept walking off with them in his pocket so I put a large wooden wine bottle on the key ring. He still pockets them but I can tell by the large bottle shape in his trouser pocket 
My DH carries around assorted 'stuff' too. Now, this would be fine, if we were going out somewhere, BUT he loads his pockets up with, hankie, comb, wallet [bursting at the seams]all house and car keys and loose change, just to watch tv or be around the house in general;WHY? Then he complains that trouser pockets are not made 'the way they used to be' because they tear open, as does the back pocket, hmmmn I wonder why that is? Nothing I can do or say makes any difference, he still does it.
By the way, had assumed DDH to be dear departed husband!
no dear darling husband I thought
Oh dear I have been calling my wonderful ALIVE husband Dear Departed for the past 6 months.
Phew! have just looked through acronyms and there isn't one for Dear Departed.
rosesarered are we married to the same man I wonder? They seem to have the same -junk- items in their pockets and the same damage to their trousers. He always blames the pockets not being made the way they used to be and the back pocket always tears.
Thanks Flower LOL my mistake!
Flower perhaps we are! I always wondered why DH went off on so many car journeys and never seemed to have much money!!! 
And I thought he was sitting by muck heaps 
Bit puzzled by this Flower does your DH enjoy muckheaps?Do explain?
My DH is a wildlife photographer and muck heaps produce millions of insects which birds feel on. So, he sits by muck heaps with his cameras and takes picture of unsuspecting birdies. He is often joined by other of his type there for the same reason. At least that's what he tells me.
Ah! Don't worry, I am definitely not of his type [nor I suspect are many women when it comes to sitting by muck heaps!]Glad you told me he was a photographer, otherwise it would have been a very odd hobby.
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