to be annoyed with DH

Thirty years is nothing in this house either . I can remember the time DS1 was about 2 weeks old (he was 42 in September!!)and DH nudged me to tell me the baby was crying. It was a Saturday night and the baby was bottle fed!!

Kittylester: My OH was no better. He - supposedly - never used to hear our babies crying at night (or daytime, come to that, if he thought there was the slightest chance that he might have to change a nappy). Very convenient!!!

Actually, not a lot has changed. DGS (28 months) is here today, and was sat on DH's lap while I was making lunch. DH called through from the lounge to tell me that his (DGS's, not DH's) nose was running. It seems that I was expected to drop everything to go and deal with it. Hmmm, no prizes for guessing my response!

Oh I am so glad DH is not unique
AIBU to be irritated by DH hovering at my heels (albeit pushing the trolley) this morning at the supermarket - stopping in front of things we neither need nor want, criticising my choice - did I really need more cardamom - well yes- and generally cramping my style which is to whizz round as quickly as I can and stock up on special offers. We had already had our "free" tea and coffee and they have started scanning the MyWaitrose cards so you can no longer sneak an extra one - so I couldn't even despatch him to the coffee shop area. Leave shopping to the experts, I say.

Not unreasonable at all, Gracesmum

I often have the opposite problem with mine in the supermarket. He trails behind, stopping to read the labels on goodness-knows-what in minute detail, and on the odd occasion that I'd really appreciate his advice on whether or not we need a particular product, he is nowhere to be found. On one occasion I was on the verge of having a "lost child" announcement put out, because he had been missing so long .

I'd like to see every large store and supermarket with a sort of 'crèche for grumpy old men'. Chairs, TV (tuned to sports channel) and a tea trolley. Then we could leave them there while we shopped in peace and only collect them when needed for boring jobs such as loading shopping into and out of car etc.

Theseus absolutely hates shopping, and I hate having him with me! (Unless it's something for the house, or a new car etc) It's like having a black coud trailing behind me; he doesn't mean to give that impression, but I know him so well...

So we never go into a supermarket together. I do accept that one day it might be necessary but there is always online shopping - which I do for the boring stuff anyway.

I refuse to let DH come with me Ariadne except when dire circumstances occur. Last time was my hysterectomy in 1999, when I couldn't drive.

If I spend more than 10 seconds looking at a product on a shelf he will walk off, with the trolley, and stand at the end of the aisle and turns his back to me so that I can't attract his attention. Shopping is not a pleasant experience unless we are buying a new car or some tools.

Thanks for the welcome Agus

Thirty years is a long time to put your DH through the mill....he must have the patience of Job....I can see why you hang on to him he sounds like a good'un.

Perhaps you ladies can help me.... for many years I have been trying to discover what and where the school is that you ladies go to in order to 'learn how to manipulate men'....
I did ask a retired headmistress some years ago, her reply was 'I am not telling you young man'!...I am still looking
They must start you all young as my young granddaughters are already quite proficient in this dark art

Nope I don't think your being unreasonable somethings just rankle forever. My rather lovely Irish husband is an expert at doing/ saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. What makes it worse is that he has this rather 'hangdog' expression that gets him lots of sympathy. I did once want to divorce him. At the time I was using liz earls hot cloth cleansing routine. Now the cloth looks nothing like a flannel. Yes you guessed it I walked in on him washing his 'bits' with it and hanging it back where I keep it to wash my face. I was FURIOUS.

Some things will be forever unforgivable! When my son was 17 months old and in the care of dear Mr H, he pulled a teapot full of hot tea down, scalding his leg in two places. It was a thankfully relatively minor burn, but I never miss an opportunity to remind Mr H of his 'neglect', (usually when he's looking after the little'ns, and I'm imploring caution!). Well. He deserves it. My son is now 36 years old.

A word to the wise weed we're women not ladies

(hope the alliteration was appreciated?)

When we used to shop in MandS in Llandudno about 3 years ago there were chairs on the first floor by the escalator which would be full of men reading newspapers but they suddenly disappeared,perhaps to the dismay of women like myself who could shop un-nagged for half an hour.

I don't mind being called a lady Aka not that anyone does it once they've got to know me
While on the subject of ladies - I always find it grates when David Dimbleby is chairing Questiontime and asks for questions from "that man" or "that woman" it just seems a bit casual.

My husband's favourite trick used to be watching me carrying around a screaming baby and eventually asking "Why is she crying?" Didn't he think that if I knew why I'd have done something about it?

I think I'd have said 'She wants to be carried by her Daddy!' Deedaa

Dearest Weed, I've just checked the definition of manipulate:

To handle a tool in a skilful manner.

Is that really what you meant?

Mice

Aka:
I always like to treat ladies (women) with respect...my Grandfather taught me that so many years ago... today much of what he said and did would be regarded as sexist or maybe chauvinistic.... personally I don't give a damn, I am what and who I am.... I don't think I will/can change now...its the 'old dog new tricks' syndrome

Micelf:
Definitions of 'manipulate' ... I reckon the word can be used in a great many ways ... I am sure that you know exactly what I meant ...but... whatever floats your boat.

weed 'you're never too old to learn' is my preferred philology.

Weed: My DH has been using the "can't teach an old dog new tricks" excuse for as long as I have known him, which as you will already have gathered, is rather a long time.

As for the place where we ladies (I don't mind the term) go to learn to manipulate our menfolk, I just wish someone would tell me, because I've never mastered the art! I don't think many of us have - otherwise, how would we find so much to complain about on this forum?

Welcome Weed you sound fun ! Hope you stick around !

Mice...that made me chortle.

I agree MamaCaz. I've been married to. Mr H for nearly 40 years, and I still haven't been able to mould him! Not that stops me trying, of course!

MamaCaz
I have to admit my Governor doesn't fall for 'new tricks' ploy either... I have recently employed the 'woe is me' tactic but have ended up with the family calling me Ruby.... after the young lady in 'The Great British Bake off'...its back to the drawing board

Aka
I agree your right....but I daren't let my Governor know that

I think one of the best comments I ever heard about marriage was given by an elderly well known lady some years ago...she had been married for over fifty years
When asked if she had ever considered divorce she replied...after a long pause.

'Divorce NEVER'!

'Murder many times'.....

Says it all really