I feel like I ruined my gs christening

I feel gutted and cant get over it. I have 5 gc but my sons ds got christened last week. Rules of dress to us were suits (dh) nothing black etc. So we dressed perfectly for a christening (I would anyway even without rules) when we arrived there were godparents in black, no-one is suits other than dh and my other son who was godfather (godmothers wore dark too) so I thought maybe it was my sons gf telling us only what to wear. No-one spoke from her family to us and I spoke to a few in church (only her nan spoke)During party, each time we asked to hold our gs there were excuses such as he was hot, asleep, being winded etc but i saw him being picked up by dil stepmother, father, sister etc. We held him once to show my sil's who had never seen him and my daughter who had travelled for the christening with her 5 year old. No-one again spoke to us apart from dil grandparents. dil never came to our table to explain why gs was not able to come to us - 2-3 hours into party and we were still at our table with no-one speaking and no gs to hold. This is also the case normally, my dil has never been to our house with gs, and she stops my son bringing him by himself, we have to go to theirs when she gives permission.
At the end, we decided to leave about hour before end (lots of others had left) and I tried to kiss dil on cheek but she sort of offered little bit of her cheek, without meaning it I said well don't bother then and walked out with the rest of my family - my son (gs father) got upset but I didnt think he heard me - so now I feel like I wrecked the only christening that we'll have and feel sorry for my son who was so proud I never meant for it to come out - it was in my head and came out and think cos I had had one drink and I dont drink usually. I apologised by FB to dil but she answered with a few expletives and said I had embarrassed myself in front of everyone etc. i then sent her flowers and all pics of the christening on FB are of her family with gs - they never even asked if we wanted pics at the font, my sister in law had to suggest it
I am most gutted for my son, he says all ok with him but I cant forgive myself. i have looked forward to a gc christening and I go and blurt that out but I cant stand being treated like it - dil says we should have asked to hold him but we did ask our son for him and got all sorts of excuses then saw her family holding him and walking round with him. i admit we never went to their table to ask but didnt want to get rebuked in public
should I just let things lie now - hope someone understands how I feel, My husband even said I should have kept it in but couldnt help it coming out