Wanting to hold onto our little bit of money?

And there'll probably be many more....

I think that's 31 responses number all unanimous. I think you probably knew what the answer was yourself but maybe some of the points put here will give you a bit more ammunition. Good luck

An unbelievable request, especially as your son does not drive. What if your husband became unwell while on holiday and felt unable to drive, who would drive everybody back home then?
Neither of you is getting any younger and as many have said before, you do not want to spend every holiday with them and maybe be free babysitters?
I would say no and make sure that your penioner's hat is firmly on. Mine only comes out when somebody wants money!
Enjoy your savings (in the bank!) this is not the time of your life to be worrying about money.

He's not really asking you to go 50/50 though is he? He's asking you to GIVE him 50% plus provide them with a driver. This is wrong on so many levels but I think Tegan is right about the age/pride thing - proceed with caution! It is also so unfair to expect you to hand over such a large proportion of your "rainy day" money. I know in our case, once anything is taken out of savings, it stays out as a pension does not replenish the savings account in the way salaries used to. Good point about the other children too. It is so hard to say NO but you really must try to get DH on your side and present a united front.

This is such an absolute No no! You need your savings for all the unexpected expenses that may crop up. At 69 your savings may have to last you many years yet and it is totally unreasonable for your son to pressure you into this and then to expect your husband to do all the driving! As far as selling the house to pay funeral expenses goes- surely this would only work if you both died at the same time? And as someone else has said suppose you have to pay for care later.

I think it's unanimous - NO - bad idea!

How would No 2, 3 & 4 children react if you went ahead?

You should and in my opinion must say NO, for your own sake. Your son is being extremely selfish.

number It really isn't fair of your son to put you in this position. If he knows how much savings you have, he should realise that you only have, in effect, an emergency fund and are not in a position to help to finance non-essentials. It is totally unreasonable to expect your husband, at 69, to tow such a large vehicle. I think a lot of much younger people would find it a daunting proposition.

You really have to say, kindly but firmly, that you are not in a position to pay out this sort of money.

Change that to last 3 posts!

Number I agree with all that has been said so far particularly the last 2 posts.
I suggest your son invests in a 'static' van as he doesn't drive and DIL won't tow. Be strong xxx

NO, NO and NO. I think you know that already number

I would dig my heels in and say No.. dont even ask. You already have a large van and then to be expected to sell it and buy a larger van and share your holidays. Then you will most probably have a debt because he doesn't have the money to pay for his half. I wonder does your son expect that you prefer to have no savings at all. Also what happens when you or your husband dies first, will your son be expecting that the one who survives will sell your home to pay for the first funeral.

I wouldn't be concerned at all what your son thinks, it's a silly idea and one you would live to regret.

The problem isn't so much the son as the husband not wanting yo admit that towing a large caravan might be a bit much at his age [rage rage against the dying of the light and all that] so number has got to play this very carefully and a bit of female guile needs to be applied.

numberplease IMO just say No! No! No!.
If your son easily gets into debt, it suggests he doesn't think other financial matters through very well.
I would say it is not going to be a good start to lend him money for anything. He should not be spending on a caravan at all.

As for paying funeral expenses from the sale of your house! With the current housing market not moving at all it plain daft. When you need to fund a funeral it needs to be funded within a couple of weeks. The alternatives are mind boggling!!!.

Tell your son and DH the van is too big to have comfortably drive. You might well need your savings to replace/repair your car/washing machine/house roof at any time and need the money. Everyone who can, should have a household contingencies repair fund.

Many others above have also raised good points about this.

It could help to write yourself self a list balancing the pros and cons that the others have suggested. Sit down with DH and point out the problems with this grand idea to him! At length.

It is just typical of men to jump at daft ideas and not be able to think things through.

You are not being mean or unreasonable here, whatever your son thinks.
Good luck with this.

This does not sound a very good idea to me - I really would steer clear of it. And i would set about spending that funeral money on something you can both enjoy peacefully together free from teenage boys and general hassle!

Sorry. Can't believe they want to buy a touring caravan and neither of them will be able or willing to tow it. You'll just have to tell them no.

number, your son says 'if we get to the stage when we don`t want to go caravanning anymore, they`ll buy us out of our share.' but you have just told us that he doesn't drive and his wife won't tow.

Just say " sorry can't afford it ". End og conversation.

Oh no, number! That's all I can think of to say - and you know how much I can talk!
If DH wants to go ahead with it...well, there's not much you can do, apart from refusing to go on holiday. That should sort it! He's not going to put up with all that by himself. Nightmare situation.

number I am not sure it would be wise to sink all your savings into a joint venture. I have been in the same situation, "why don't we buy a house in France/Yorkshire/Northumberland" ? I could probably afford to but why should I ? I do not like to be told where I will be holidaying for the rest of my life. Bored teenagers in a caravan would drive me to distraction.

And, if one or both of you have to pay care costs there may not be enough left for the funerals.

Just as a separate issue, are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to?

Oh number I agree with Sel. I can imagine it's difficult, but I think it's important you feel secure.

As a little aside, I would love an Eriba caravan. I have always really liked them and am beginning to think we 'might' afford a second-hand one - but with the house for sale and hopefully buying back in the UK (one day)..... it'll have to wait.

Number, Three generations in a caravan sounds like my idea of hell. You pack up all your domestic strife and tow it along behind you and you'll be worrying about money all the time.

Can you not offer your son help with driving lessons? Suggest that if there were more help driving then you would think again. I hate to generalize but I am doing. Men like large cars ,caravans, etc so its up to you to be the spoilsport in the nicest possible way. Where would it lie when not in use? Would your existing car be adequate for it? I know little about the cost of funerals but I paid for a relatives very modest funeral- notice in the paper, family flowers, simple coffin and funeral meats and it was £2000 about ten years ago. Other people may be able to give a more recent estimate. I amazed at the chutzpah of the young these days. Keep your van and encourage them to buy a tent.