Gransnet forums

AIBU

To object to inane 'banter' on serious threads?

(217 Posts)
Greatnan Sat 20-Apr-13 09:59:27

We are all, presumably, mature adults, and if you have nothing to contribute to a serious, or sometimes tragic, thread, would it not be better to stop trying to trivialise the subject and find another thread where your wittering would not disrupt the flow.
And please don't accuse anybody who objects of having no sense of humour - most of us just know when it is appropriate to make jokes.

Ariadne Thu 25-Apr-13 12:12:07

Stansgran Thank you!

soop Thu 25-Apr-13 12:16:59

Me too, Ella grin

Eloethan Thu 25-Apr-13 14:34:12

Elegran How ridiculous. What was your OH's friend supposed to say: "What does he or she do?" Or is one required to enquire as to the gender of the person's partner at the beginning of a conversation? Some people are just looking for something to be offended about.

Elegran Thu 25-Apr-13 15:24:29

Eloethan I wondered if it was said as a joke - but it seems not! Talk about over-sensitive.

Just as well he was not asked "Have you brought your spouse gouse/louse with you?"

POGS Thu 25-Apr-13 17:22:18

Elegran

smile

specki4eyes Sat 27-Apr-13 14:22:42

Are we still on the same subject? I lost the will halfway through.
My reflection on the original thread posted by Greatnan is as follows: if you were standing chatting in a group and one of that group made a statement or point about something which distressed him or her, or revealed a painful occurence in their life, would you think it acceptable if, after a little discussion on the subject, some wag piped up with some kind of joke or trivial take on the subject? Of course you wouldn't! Its called polite, thoughtful social interaction. To hell with free speech in a situation like this! Are we not civilised human beings who can empathise and sympathise with others and just try to make them feel a little better? Come on Grans!

Elegran Sat 27-Apr-13 15:11:13

Eaxctly,specki There are many things that are done automatically when talking face to face which don't always happen at a distance. If you were in the same room with the original poster, you would not be unkind when they told you of a problem, or joke about them in half-heard tones.

If it was something you could not feel any sympathy for, you might remind them of others in the same boat, or the possible advantages in what they are agonising about, but you would do it with a bit of tact.

You might also find a good reason not to continue with the conversation and go and do something else.

Greatnan Sat 27-Apr-13 16:06:34

If I were with a group of friends discussing a serious or tragic subject, I think we would all be astounded if somebody made a flippant remark. I have nothing further to say on this matter but I am not sorry I made the OP, even though I don't suppose for one moment it will make anybody stop and think before they trivialise a thread, which is not the same as meandering.
I will continue to treat serious subjects seriously, and lighter subjects with humour.

Petrapan Sun 05-May-13 23:03:55

I'm not impressed with women of 'our age' who can't tell when to speak in an appropriate manner, we've had a lifetime of learning behind us to put these things into practice. Mind you, we all know people who have unfortunately never left the school playground.

NewNana666 Mon 06-May-13 17:33:47

This site reminds me of a similar site aimed to support families of service personnel - in any vast forum gathering many different people, there will always be someone who gets on your nerves or you feel is so patronising you wish there was a block button. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel irritated by particular posts, but I think it needs to be put in perspective - if you post on an open forum then it's reasonable to expect that not everyone will share your viewpoint. Personally, I think that's the best thing about these sites - it helps you see things from many different angles smile

Nonu Mon 06-May-13 17:40:27

New , let the chips fall .

grin

feetlebaum Mon 06-May-13 18:03:34

Nothing wrong with a bit of insane bantam...

NewNana666 Mon 06-May-13 18:13:14

Insane banter is what keeps me sane smile

Nonu Mon 06-May-13 18:15:52

Feetle , if there is one thing i love it is an insane bantam . wink

j08 Mon 06-May-13 18:17:28

Quote petrapan: "I'm not impressed with women of 'our age' who can't tell when to speak in an appropriate manner, we've had a lifetime of learning behind us to put these things into practice. Mind you, we all know people who have unfortunately never left the school playground. "

Miaow!

Aka Mon 06-May-13 18:21:25

So true. Wonder why the 'miaow'?

Ana Mon 06-May-13 18:23:07

Are you serious, Aka? confused

j08 Mon 06-May-13 18:26:13

grin

Galen Mon 06-May-13 18:30:56

confused

Nonu Mon 06-May-13 19:00:10

Lets get the party started !

smile

Nonu Mon 06-May-13 19:12:05

Only thing is ,it just occurred to me some posters are probably tired after walking , so perhaps let them be.

absent Mon 06-May-13 19:51:22

Don't people who walk – as a serious undertaking, not just strolling around Marks & Spencer – actually find it invigorating rather than exhausting?

Bags Mon 06-May-13 19:53:27

It is both invigorating and exhausting.

Bags Mon 06-May-13 19:53:50

Good exhaustion.

MiceElf Mon 06-May-13 19:56:46

And to be emulated. All I need is the willpower.