daughter problems

That's a good sentiment Deedaa but the NSPCC will only refer the matter to social services so the end result will be the same. The NSPCC haven't investigated child abuse for many years now. I remember going out with the old uniformed NSPCC Inspectors when I first went into social work in the 1970's. The agency role has changed a lot since then.

This is a horrible situation and one right outside my personal experience thistledoo but you have to get help. The authorities must be made aware of the situation. Your granddaughter's safety must be your priority. I think I would approach the NSPCC first as being slightly less official. Hopefully you can get some helpful advice from them.

thistle you have to protect your DGD she is the important one in all of this, terrible position for you to be in.

This is a terrible situation for you thistledoo and an even worse one for your grandaughter.
The greatest gift you can give that little one is to relieve her of the horrendous burden of keeping her mother's secret about who is living in the house.

I think you may need some professional help, perhaps Social services or NSPCC. You need to have an objective opinion. You must think of you GD before your DD as she is a child.That is hard and my heart goes out to you. Don't let it go!! You may live to regret it.

Sorry Thistledoo I have no specific knowledge of siboxone (suboxone?) but perhaps someone on here will have. I have worked with people on similar medication and I would be extremely worried about the presence of such drugs in the home of a young child - I am not trying to add to your worries but it is a dangerous drug.

Your daughter is expecting a lot of a five year old to keep such a secret (not to mention how abusive this is). I agree with others that you really need to involve social services. Also, if the divorce proceedings are not yet finalised these issues could be considered when looking at the arrangements for your granddaughter. I feel for you, you must be so worried. I do hope things can be worked out.

Thank you nightowl, yes I am hoping and praying that DGD will reveal who is living in her home, but have a suspicion that she may have been theatened. I cannot be 100% sure, and if I'm wrong, it makes me look really bad. I can just hope maybe if she is asked outright he may be able to read her body language. She has only just turned 5 and unable to conceal her true feelings even though she will protect her mother.
I would like know more about this drug Siboxone, does anyone out there have any information about its use. Google refers to it as a wonder drug, but I am suspicious.

What a heart-rending story Thistledoo. Only one other thought - is there any way her father could take over her care at least until your daughter comes to her senses? Does he really have no idea that she is back with her ex, and will your DGD be able to keep this a secret?
I wish you and your DGD well

Thank you all for your support,you have no idea how cathartic it is to share this with others. You are all so kind and your advice has been taken on board. I have had care of my DGD this week as the nursery is closed, we have had lots of fun outside with her little friends despite the cold. My DD picked her up at 6pm and there is no communication between us. Her anger knows no bounds, so much so that my stomach churns when I hear her car approaching. I do try to keep the lines fo communication open, but think I am failing miserably. This Friday the little one goes to stay with her Dad 400 miles away and will be away for a week. I will relax for that time.

Thistle This is an awful predicament for you and your family. It's also a very delicate one.
I would certainly contact Social Services or the NSPCC (you can do this in complete confidence) to alert them to your concerns. As there has been violence, and your daughter's partner is on a Siboxone programme, then I would suggest this would warrant at least one visit by one of the agencies to assess the situation.
If you can, keep all lines of communication open with your daughter and granddaughter, as at best this will be good for you all, and at worst it will alert you to any further problems that may arise.
Wishing you all the very best. x

You must be so worried. I agree, go to Social Services even though you went before, you really must try again.

I think this sort of thing happens quite a lot but others will have experience and be able to advise. Big hug.

Except it was mishap not jess. Sorry!!!!

thistledoo

jess has given you the best advice. It's too important to try to manage on your own, get the professionals in.

Go to Social Services - hard I know, but this child is an innocent party in this mess and, although taking action might sadly worsen your relationship with your daughter, you cannot leave things without securing the safety of this little lass.