Gransnet forums

AIBU

... to feel angry about single mother of 11 getting new house built for her!!

(474 Posts)
janthea Tue 19-Feb-13 09:11:29

My blood boils when I read this!! Why!!

Who has the right to have 11 children and support them all on benefits. I presume there are 11 different fathers. Working families tend to limit the number of children that they can afford.

This is what is wrong with the country and the benefits system.

Movedalot Sat 23-Feb-13 11:08:47

Presumably the nationals get this info from local papers Greatnan

Yes, there are many other things going on in the UK and the rest of the world which make us annoyed/angry/frustrated but this thread is about this woman ans her family and I do think it is wrong that she should have so much of other people's hard earned taxes with no responsibility herself.

If she were working and given benefits by her employer such as housing, food or a car these would be taken into consideration when calculating her benefits. It does however appear that her daughter is working in the stables and receiving benefits which are not being taken into consideration. This imo is worong.

Joan Sat 23-Feb-13 12:59:14

Oh dear. This woman's lifestyle is obviously not good for her children, there is no decent parental role model there, BUT, the press coverage and resulting stirred up hatred must be doing terrible harm to her children, who are completely innocent in all this.

Shame on the populist media.

Mishap Sat 23-Feb-13 13:47:10

It is always the children who are innocent in it all - and they are why our country goes down the benefits route; and quite rightly.

Barrow Sat 23-Feb-13 13:58:58

I wonder how the newspapers got hold of the story in the first place

granjura Sat 23-Feb-13 14:00:03

Agreed - and yet. The UK is the only country I know where it is 'normal' for some families to have 3rd, 4th, 5th generation members on benefits. Sadly these familial patterns can become so ingrained and a vicious circle.

Don't know what the answer is, really.

POGS Sat 23-Feb-13 14:08:15

gillybob

Thank you. smile

Ana Sat 23-Feb-13 15:28:32

Barrow, it appears that it was first reported in a Gloucester local paper as being a matter of interest to local people. Someone was probably so incensed they made sure the national media got hold of it.

This is Gloucestershire Report

POGS Sat 23-Feb-13 15:44:13

Ana

Thanks for enlightening us. smile

Movedalot Sat 23-Feb-13 16:22:04

I think local papers have 'stringers' who report anything they think will be of interest to the nationals.

Barrow Sat 23-Feb-13 16:23:38

Yes, but who gave the story to the local paper in the first place

Ana Sat 23-Feb-13 16:52:31

Well, it would have been local news, wouldn't it? No one was trying to keep it a secret. Our local paper reports all kinds of planning disputes, development rumours etc. as well as the usual burglaries and drink-driving convictions. Reporters find their own 'news' a lot of the time.

Movedalot Sat 23-Feb-13 16:57:29

It would be big news in our local paper as not much happens here! I remember when a friend came to stay she was amused that the big front page article was about bad parking. We did have someone found with a couple of canabis plants once. grin

Ana Sat 23-Feb-13 17:22:34

Oh yes, we've had that too, Movedalot! And there are always angry letters about dogs fouling the public footpaths, although the council seems to spend more on providing bins for dog poo than it does for human litter!

Bags Sat 23-Feb-13 18:06:31

I don't know anything, barrow. That's why I used the phrases "I can imagine" and "Maybe". I guess I just feel sorry for someone who appears from the story to be rather a dead loss except at reproducing. No-one with any degree of self-respect would choose to live like that, would they? sad

Mind you, in evolutionary terms she is doing rather well. Better than most of us, probably. Hmm hmm.

Greatnan Sat 23-Feb-13 20:00:46

I think the fact that her father is willing to label her lazy in the press does suggest that he has not done much to enhance her self esteem. For many girls/women, having a baby is a way of validating their own existence.
I just can't understand the almost visceral anger generated by the fact that one woman and her children are being supported out of 'our' taxes (including mine). There are many fat cats in government and business receiving thousands of times her income with little justification - now that I can get angry about. She is just an easy target for the right wing press.

whenim64 Sat 23-Feb-13 21:02:38

My thoughts, too, Greatnan! What sort of dad runs down his daughter to the gutter press? If she needed guidance about family planning, relationships, being independent, he certainly doesn't appear to have been there to provide it when she started producing babies at such a young age - she was a child herself!

Her benefit claims (not handouts - whatever she gets she will be legally entitled to claim) are a drop in the ocean compared with the humungous tax evasion of many wealthy individuals and organisations.

Yes, she might not be quite as capable and responsible as we are who have worked and budgeted for our families, but I wonder whether she had the same advantages. I doubt it. I would be interested to know what she thinks about her situation - she does seem to be using the benefits for her family, which is what they are intended for.

Faye Sat 23-Feb-13 21:07:56

I was shocked to see her father call her lazy for all to read, and in the next sentence he says he loves her. Some father, he should get off his backside and hang his head in shame. While I don't like to see women having so many children, whether they can afford them or not, I am appalled at the very wealthy getting paid huge amounts of money or not paying their taxes. I could not believe banks being rescued during the WFC with tax payers money, then having the absolute cheek to pay themselves huge bonuses. That to me is disgusting!

Greatnan Sat 23-Feb-13 22:29:42

Now I am angry, in fact I am bloody furious. Not at this rather silly woman, but at the gutter journalist who saw fit to print the name and parentage of every one of these innocent children. Can you imagine the playground taunts? 'Your mum is a slag, your mum is a scrounger, you don't know who your dad is'.
Perhaps those of you who were so angry about her rights to benefits might turn your fire on a truly deserving target.
I shouldn't have to repeat this, as I have said it quite clearly, but some people don't seem to have got my messaage - I don't think it is a good idea to have a huge family unless you have the necessary support but she is not single-handedly putting up your taxes, or lessening the value of your house.

I have to laugh at the idea that a woman with eleven children has never done a day's work in her life - obviously that journalist has never had children! Wasn't there a call from some middle class mums to be paid to stay at home and care for their own children - probably a couple at the most.

bluebell Sat 23-Feb-13 22:52:44

And her bloody father is on his third wife - some role model - if my daughter had got pregnant at 14 I would have felt a complete failure as a parent - shame on the DM and shame on so many of the self- righteous contributions on this thread!

harrigran Sat 23-Feb-13 23:29:12

She is hardly a shrinking violet, she went on Jeremy Kyle and aired her dirty washing.

nightowl Sat 23-Feb-13 23:57:26

Jeremy Kyle is a vile man and I loathe the way his programme exploits and sensationalises people's sad stories. Unfortunately it is a badge of honour in some communities to feature in his show. It's the other end of the spectrum of being famous for nothing, which is so prevalent in today's society sad

harrigran Sun 24-Feb-13 00:18:08

I do agree with you nightowl it is a dreadful show.

Joan Sun 24-Feb-13 02:18:30

Is it like Jerry Springfield? Sounds very exploitative.

I suppose people are paid to appear. What they don't realise is that no amount of money can remove the shame of being shown up on the telly.

Greatnan Sun 24-Feb-13 08:19:54

The children did not choose to be the subject of all this sensationalism. They are guilty only of having a very silly mother.

Greatnan Sun 24-Feb-13 08:21:23

Yes, Joan, it is very like the Jerry Springer show. I believe the participants don't get paid cash, but they get a night or two in an hotel and various kinds of counselling are available.