bad language

My view is that there is no such thing as an obscene word. People use various words to express/describe obscenity. It is not the words used that are obscene, but what is being talked/written about, i.e. whatever is obscene. I think it's possible for people to be obscene, but not words.

Here's an example from the other extreme – an 'innocent' word being used to insult or demean. I imagine that most, if not all female members of gransnet would find a disparaging use of the term "little woman" mildly annoying to say the least. And yet there is nothing wrong with the word "little" or with the word "woman". Little is not insulting; woman is not insulting; little woman can be insulting. It is the connotations of the words when they are used in the phrase "little woman" that cause the annoyance (which may only be a mild annoyance at the stupidity of the person using the phrase rather than a feeling of personal insult). To my mind it's the same with so-called "bad" words. It's not the words themselves that are bad. The way they are used is what matters.

That's the same story as the one I told the Cubs, just a different version. I'm applying the same reasoning to "innocent" words as I apply to "bad" words.

#compromiseisgood

...that was for #compromiseisgood good night!

I second that

jingle

I would just like to add that in the future if, in my (infrequent) posts I feel the need to use language which some posters might, quite reasonably, find offensive, I will always cross out the potentially offending words so that those of a more refined sensitive respectable nature can skip over them without reading.

This is because I am not totally (not quite) past caring.

#compromiseisgood

Is there really no such thing as an obscene word? Or am I just being dim here ... #waitswithbatedbreath

My point about gransnetters being adults was that adults should be able to recognise when a word is used aggressively or obscenely and when it is used harmlessly (the children could tell the difference). I maintain there is a difference. One is potentially harmful and the other is not. I do not condone violence or aggression, but the hammer dropped on foot example is neither of these. And, in my view, anyone who says it is is being, well, ridiculously stuffy and rigid in their attitude.

Which does not mean I want to use such words myself, but I'm not going to get into a tizwaz when other people use them harmlessly. There is not such thing as an obscene or violent word, only usage can be those things.

This is a very important distinction for me even if other people don't think so. Therefore I argue about it.

Bags...yes it was the closing comments not what you said to the children! We are becoming inured to aggressive and obscene language by constant exposure.
Children cease to be shocked ny violence and pornography for the same reason. They are the adults of tomorrow !Sorry,I just don't buy this "we are all adults" bit .

bolshy

BolshyButty! Love it!

when (20.41) and B (20.34) - Couldn't agree more. #learningtobeabolshybutty.

While the mushroom soup for our Oban archery picnic warms up, I've come back to say that I can see that the By'eck line at the end of my cub story above could be read as patronising.

My defence is that I'm from Yorkshire originally, and it was meant light-heartedly

Why the hell am I defending myself? Bags'd better bugger off.

PS my usual expletive, just in case anyone is wondering is "Bother!" I'm just arguing (that is, discussing) the subject from a point of view because it's fun. It's also what I really think – it's silly (yes, I do think that) to take offence where none is intended. If that's patronising, so be it.

So, essentially, my view is that finding such four-letter words offensive in any context (i.e. even when they aren't used offensively) is just tough, like lots else in life.

I dislike them too. Why do you think I stopped the cubs and scouts from effing at each other? If I didn't care, I would have left them too it. Mind you, for me it is about 'how' words are used rather than what words, as I've said before. The distinction highlighted in the cubs anecdote is important. A mere expletive to release stress is quite different from abuse aimed at someone else. And a joke is a joke is a joke. Humour always pushes at the boundaries of what is 'acceptable'. That's its strength.

People find all sorts of things offensive (many of them not intrinsically offensive things). We can't let that limit what we can talk about. That way unreasoned censorship lies.

I don't think that I would call the post about the cubs/scouts patronising agapanthus but it does ignore the fact that many people find the f-word and c-word offensive in any context in public. For example, I am old-fashioned enough to be very put out by anyone using the second of these in my presence and it's not just oldies; I know absentdaughter dislikes it as much as I do.

Shoved my way past the bouncer (not really; I'm so respectable-looking, he didn't give me a second glance) just to say hello to mey. Hello mey, nice to meet you. Hope you enjoy gransnet as much as I do

It can only kick off if they get past this bloody great big bouncer I am posting at the door of this thread!

State your business before entering, otherwise join me in the pub down the road

We're all in too good a mood for anyone to start a fight!

Help, help, it's all kicking off again!

It was in response to the scouts /cubs anecdote post!!

That hasn't appeared in the right place!

Patronising or what?!

BAGS

Very good.

Toodle pip for today, gransnetters. Sweet dreams . And thank you all for being such fun.

And here is a hilarious use of That Word that I found:

"My husband recently bought me a mood ring so that he can monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns green, and when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his f()cking forehead."