Cut out of their lives

Oh Nanban, my heart goes out to you. Keep on with the doll's house - when that wee girl finally comes to see her grandma and granddad, she'll be so delighted. xx [

A morning doesn't arrive without my first thought being of my son and grandchildren; a post doesn't arrive, a phone call might always be him. Someone sent me flowers for Easter and I was stupidly devastated that they hadn't come from him - how ungrateful was that. I cry in the shower so that it doesn't show so much. I'm making a dolls house in the hope that one day our little grand-daughter will find us and know that we were thinking of her. We can never consider moving house because our son won't know where to come.

Sorry ladies, it's always a bad day after a holiday passes along with all hope of a call.

grannisu I have just posted on another thread as I hadn't seen this one when I logged in this morning. My story is similar - a judge seeing ex-DIL for what she is and he has assured my son he will be watching to see that she does not sabotage contact between son and grandson now they have reinstated contact to the level that was happening in the first few weeks after the marriage ended.

This is positive news, and we are gradually seeing more stories like this

grannisu thats good news

I've just picked up on the 'dim view of allegations' - would this, could this possibly stretch to making her pay all the costs!!

So glad to hear your news grannisu It sounds like you have a judge who can see past the untruths told by your DIL it must be so hard to watch your boy go through this but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. good luck for future.

So very hard for you, grannisu. Very best wishes for a positive result for you and your family. xx

My heart aches for you all. I can't do anything, but believe me, I would if I could! Xx

Just wanted to let you know that my son went to court last week and was awarded an interim contact order of weekly supervised contact with his son. DIL stated she wanted son to have no contact with his father. But after all day at court and having spoken to CAFCAs the judge ruled weekly supervised contact pending my son having medical tests to disprove DIL's false allegations against him. It is hoped that once the medical tests prove clear (he already had got one to take to court but they wanted others) my son will apply for weekly unsupervised contact. Judge said if the tests proved clear she would take a very dim view of DIL's allegations. It was a nerveracking day and not helped for the fact that CAFCas had negelected to previously interview my son although he had tried and tried to contact them. Anyway with perseverance that got sorted and he got an intervieiw with CAFCAS at court before the hearing. My son had a good friend with him but we stayed away at his request. All this is costing him thousands but he has got to see his son and I am just so glad about that. We have to wait till he gets unsupervised contact to see our grandson which is difficult but having not seen him since Xmas I guess we can wait . Thanks for listening

Hi petallus. No, ex-DIL's family are all still friendly but don't believe in getting involved. They all disappove of her behaviour, but fear her wrath, as she can get very nasty. They say they just want a quiet life. The older children (step-brothers and sisters) who my son was a step-father to, all like my son and one said to him 'I don't blame you for leaving, I don't know why you stayed as long as you did' when he told her he was packing to leave and would be renting a flat 500 yards away, so he could be near them. He continued to pay for her driving lessons and college fees, even though she was 18. He remains friendly with them all and will help them out every now and again, even though they are now all adults.

My grandson (12) knows a few things appropriate for his age, but he doesn't know the extent of his mother's abuse of my son. He has witnessed her being verbally abusive to him, and apparently told his other grandmother about this. She has always been friendly with me, but says to me 'you know me, I don't get involved. I just hope she doesn't keep it up too long.'

Ex-DIL did manage to shake off her ex and the older children's grandparents within a year or so of meeting my son, and she has behaved in the same way towards us.

I was a Mackenzie friend to a friend who was going through a harrowing time suing her ex-employers for wrongful dismissal. It was interesting but hugely draining as my friend was getting to breaking point. You are not allowed to say anything, just be there.

Carol pleased everything is at last working out. Couldn't help wondering about your ex d-i-l's family. Weren't they any help with it all?

My children do say I have a particular 'look' that tells them not to go any further glamma!

carol nothing more fearful than a mother in law scorned !!!

Are they jeni. Is it like attending as a friend at tribunals and disciplinaries where they can give support but not engage in the process?

I wouldn't have been bothered about that in the case of ex-DIL - just sitting there looking at her would have been enough to give her a strong message that her lies would be outed.

Mackenzie friends are in an odd situation when it comes to giving evidence though!

Just read up on Mackenzie friends and notice that in 2005 the Court of Appeal allowed a lay person to accompany a litigant into court in a divorce hearing, and that this is allowed from now on if applied for. Just told my son, as I was told to wait outside court a few months ago and we now realise I could have been allowed in as a Mackenzie friend (ex-DIL was horrified when she saw me and instructed her solicitor that I musn't go in court). I think if I had been present, the process could have been curtailed as ex-DIL told lies in court that I could have challenged, as she had admitted her malicious behaviour to me many times when drunk, by text and phone (I have kept about 60 texts and deleted many, many more) - her delight was in bragging about revenge and her plans to screw my son into the ground (her words). Anyway, we have moved on, but it's worth others noting in case they need this.

Thanks grannisu _ hadn't thought to check on there - my son has joined Families need Fathers and Fathers for Justice, both organisations being very supportive.

Ex-DIL claimed she had been to the GP with a ruse to get grandson there as she claimed he was 'odd' and it was his dad's fault. We both went to see GP and explained it was a case of low level fabricating illness in her child, and the GP agreed to make a note on records in case anything further came up of relevance. Then we told her what we did and she retracted! A record of the conversation was added to the file of complaints about her unreasonable behaviour for the court. She tried it again via the school, lying about a psychologist being involved - no such thing - that was when son went in for a meeting, and she didn't say one word in the meeting - there is a review on Friday. My son has called her bluff every time and kept evidence of the outrageous things she has done - it makes a file 2 inches thick, including 200 Facebook pages!

Happily, things have progressed to divorce and reinstatement of access, but the evidence will be kept.

Sorry have just realised the post was from maniac. Apologies. But the info may be useful

Carol, See" families need fathers" website for lots of info on Mckenzie friends. Your DIL sounds like mine, she has also tampered with my sons medical records. I am dreading the court date next week. I thought medical records were sacrosant. How is it that persons other than the patient can place info on these records? My son applied to have the items removed or noted that the info was from an unreliable source.

Hi Maniac. No - I don't know what a Mackenzie friend is, but telling lies in court is still not allowed and if your son now has evidence of misinformation being given, he should be allowed to present it, and his ex should explain to the judge where she got her evidence from to make such a statement. My son's ex told lots of lies and was challenged, and my son presented a full file of counter-information and evidence that she was not doing what she claimed to be doing, and vive versa. For example, the court had evidence of her claiming benefits to which she was not entitled, and proof that she was advertising her thriving beauty salon (she shifted it to the first floor of the house so it could not be seen by neighbours) on Facebook, and when they left the court to look up her Facebook and saw what was missing, it was obvious that she was concealing information from the court. the judge was able to draw his conclusions from this. Also, she had put the house up for sale, but one room was missing from the photographs on Rightmove and it was easy to see why - she didn't attend court that day, but had to deal with two phone calls from her embarrassed and annoyed solicitor.

Carol Sad to say that people who tell lies in court do not have to prove their statements.
When my son applied to court for contact with his son a letter from a GP was produced saying that there were mental issues in the family and my son might be bipolar.(totally untrue)
Gp was a temporary trainee at my ex DIL's surgery She has never seen my son.Her report,intended for a colleague at CAHMS was based on statements from ex-DIL,but taken as fact by the judge.
My son complained to surgery,got a reluctant apology,no further action.But the damage had been done!GP has left Case closed.
My son can no longer afford solicitor's fees.He is thinking of presenting his own case ,with a 'Mackenzie friend'
Do you know anything about this?
18 March 201

thanks all of you for your kind words. I dont know what I would have done recently without your support. Thank goodness I found gransnet.

Grannisu, so pleased.

Grannisu, that is such good news for you all. What lovely words for your son to hear. I hope things will get better for you all.

Ah that is lovely to hear about. Solicitor probably got through to her.