Menopause webchat with Dr Rosemary Leonard - 1pm 10 August

Oh, I forgot to say that I was advised not to take HRT as I have had breast cancer, so hence I can't comment on that. Also, in the winter I take vitamin D but do not find a difference at all. So it sounds very individual.

Now aged 57 and have been having some symptoms for a couple of years - mainly hot flushes. Although they are a nuisance I sort of cope with them but I find it more worrying that I have poor concentration and my memory is awful!! I have always prided myself on being a very organised and efficient person so this is a nightmare for me. Does anyone else suffer with is or should I be more concerned? I feel as though I am living in a fog and am constantly fighting my way out. I just want to get on with life - is this asking too much?

I am almost 53 and believe that I am perimenopausal. My periods are still regular but they are heavier than ever and the PMT has worsened considerably. I keep a diary and the symptoms are the same every 4 weeks. At present I can cope with extra rest, ibuprofen and super plus tampons. Do I need to consult my GP? I am not good at taking medication, even vitamins make me ill so I would prefer to go it alone.
Surely this is just a natural part of life and not an illness.

My question is simply: is it OK for someone like me to go back on HRT, having been off it for several years?

I am 66, hysterectomised, and suffering from appalling giddiness, hot flushes, depression, headache etc. Life is hardly worth living some days, and requires every ounce of my determination just to keep going. When on Evorel 25mcg I was fit as a flea - no problems at all.

I have normal BP and I am normal weight.

My ex-GP husband can see no reason why I should not restart it.

Will anyone let me go back on my Evorel patch, or would I be banging my head against a brick wall?

I have a very similar story to sued59, over 10 years of hot flushes and night sweats that mean I never have more than 2 hours sleep at a time, and fluctuating energy levels making it difficult to work at the inceased levels expected in the modern workplace. But the symptom that has really got to me is my thinning hair and rapidly receding hairline; I hate how I look in photos, get too hot with flushes to wear a hat or wig so am contemplating trying to be creative with scarves, the hijab looks very tempting!

Pittcity Like you I always believed that the menopause was a natural process and that I, with a history of fairly light, regular, 4 day periods, would sail through with periods gradually tailing off until one day they had stopped. The reality was somewhat different, periods got heavier and irregular, ruining holidays, forcing me to give up swimming and creating difficulties at work. By the time I gave in and sought help from my GP I had just finished one gruelling period with 'flooding' and started another 3 days later which lasted for 6 weeks, leaving me, pale, feeling faint and exhausted. Male GP registrar was very sympathetic but did not offer HRT as I had expected but instead put me on a version of the contraceptive pill, which taken daily, stopped periods entirely. Problem solved. I only had 2 periods thereafter - 1 a year later when I stopped the pill for a month to see what happened and went straight back on it and 1 slight bleed 3 or 4 years later when I came off the pill for good.

Now I sincerely hope that things do not get so extreme for you but it is good to know that there is help available if needed.

Hi Dr Rosemary. I am 67. Had to stop HRT 5 years ago to have surgery. I had hysterectomy some years before so oestrogen only. The full range of symptoms hit 3 months later including flashes, thinning hair and a marked increase in pain and head-fog. I have fibromyalgia. All continue unabated. Unfortunately I have moved area now and find my new surgery unhelpful. My previous GP suggested Clonidine to help manage overwhelming flashes but also was open to re-prescription of HRT if symptoms continued to be overwhelming. . Clonidine does reduce number and ferocity of flashes but I have to fight for the prescription now. I guess I have two basic questions. Is Clonidine deemed to be generally acceptable in my situation or are there risk factors I am unaware of? The other relates to fibromyalgia. Is there evidence that HRT helps with symptoms? My previous GP believed so but I can't find anyone in my current practice who agrees. I would be happy to take what I believe to be a tiny personal risk to reclaim quality of life. Any thoughts are so welcome as life is frankly a struggle.

Thank you Granny23
Ì had a very bad time when I took the pill, so I hope that does not become necessary.

Hello Dr Rosemary

I am 53. I lead a very busy life which includes the care of my 3 grandchildren, elderly parents and my 99 year old grandma together with running a small engineering business with my husband. Last year I began showing signs of peri-menopause. Missing the odd period, hot sweats etc. it was annoying but I coped okay. Moving on to the beginning of this year I feel just awful. I have had 2 very long periods since December, my hair is falling out in handfuls, the hot sweats are coming every half hour during the day and the night sweats are lasting all night long. I sleep with a fan beside my bed which helps me a little bit but drives my husband mad. I have had 3 water infections in as many months, one of which totally ruined a planned short break that I was desperate for. I am permanently shattered from lack of sleep, irritable and feel bloated too. My GP has refused me HRT. She asked if there was any female cancers in the family and I answered truthfully that my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at 59. She refused HRT and suggested I try Clonodine (possibly the wrong spelling) to help with the sweats. It didn't help at all but did make me feel as dizzy as a duck. Great help. I am literally at my wits end and don't know what to do.

I do hope you can help. Thank you in advance.

Forgot to add the awful stiffness in my joints (especially on a morning) and the weakness in my ankles and wrists although I'm not sure if this is connected. Thanks again.

Just a simple question - how long can I stay on Tibolone please. I have been on it for 10 years well tolerated BP OK. It controls my terrible continous night hot flushes and to an extent mild depression. A trial without I 18 months ago was a nightmare. Thank you.

For those suffering with hot flushes try eating soya beans. I soak them dry them and then roast till crisp. Having 3 or 4 small handfuls a day has greatly reduced my hot flushes. I read somewhere that Asian women who eat a lot of soya don't get hot flushes.

My main symptoms are tiredness, struggling to remember things and feeling more anxious than I used to. Can't believe I ever managed to multitask.

I am 51 and have zero libido. Does that ever come back ?My husband is brilliant and we have a good relationship but I can't imagine ever wanting sex again.is it a case that for some women / couples a sexless marriage is the way forward and other aspects of the relationship become more important?

Also my armpit hair has vanished.

Someone has recommended Mexican Yam to me to relieve symptoms. I have family history of breast cancer so can't (don't want to ) take HRT but are remedies like Mexican Yam just more "natural" and potentially less tested versions of the same hormones?
Cheeky second question is there anything you can do in perimenopause to lessen the symptoms/ effects of menopause?
Many thanks and so glad someone is talking about this!!

I can so relate to you Pumpkin123 (apart from eating the soya beans) I was actually wondering if I was on the road to dementia and although 10 years older than you my sex drive vanished and, like you, I am lucky in having an understanding husband but I feel cheated that just because I am no longer of child bearing age my 'happy' hormones have deserted me. Sex can be painful and all the creams advertised to assist in the 'dryness' leave me more deflated than ever. I feel too embarrassed to talk to my GP and just suffer in silence

My armpit hair is gone too - think its all being transferred to my chin!

I've been suffering from hot flushes for six years. I'm 56 and my periods stopped four years ago. HRT was a non starter, they made best friends with my Migraine.. Although the Menopause itself has not worsened the Migraine, I find the explosion of heat and night sweats debilitating.. I have quite severe joint pain, constantly sore vagina ( anybody else have this?)and feel very lethargic. I watch my sugar intake- which helps, and I exercise every day,this also is a feel better factor. I have had all the gynaecological tests- all negative..needless to say,sex for me is purely marriage maintenance .. ...( my poor husband!) I've been diagnosed with lupus, but couldn't these symptoms be purely Menopausal?

So many questions - you will be kept busy ;)

What do you think of the comment, oft heard, including on EF, that a doctor (especially a female doctor) is being 'totally unsympathetic' because s/he is reluctant to rpescribe HRT or tries to wean a patient over 60 off HRT? Or are they doing their job properly in many instances. EG, is it sometimes 'being cruel to be kind' or safe? Thanks.

Reading all these have made me feel a little better knowing I am not on my own. I started menopause at the age of 47. Had a hysterectomy at 48 and was put on HRT. My GP told me after 10 years (this was dec 2013) that I had to stop with it as I had been on it for a long time. Since then I have had the flushes during the day and even worse at night. I have tried all the herbal remedies to no avail. My hair is very thin and on top of that because of the sweating never looks good. It is awful as so many of you have already said. There is very little understanding for it as it is just the menopause and most of the time people think it is something to joke about.

By chance I was speaking to a woman waiting for a hospital appointment. I was fanning myself & she said 'I know exactly how you feel'. I said I doubted it, because seconds before a hot flush I have a feeling in my stomach like going down in a lift where there's no break. A dark feeling comes over me like someone's just told me I'm going to die. The feeling of DOOM is almost unbearable.

I get through it by repeating (in my mind) 'this will pass, this will pass etc' until it does. She beamed....not the response I expected, saying she experiences that too. We were both thrilled to have met someone else who experiences the same thing. It's extremely upsetting & frightening.

It is comforting that I am not alone suffering, its not all in my head! Or make belief! I was in my 30s when I first had a hot flush, I woke up absolutely drenched in sweat , my whole body was running with water -the bed under and sheets around me were soaked too!
I was so frightened! As I was so wet and it was winter - very cold, I didn't want to get out for fear of catching a chill!
I tried waking my hubby , but he just muttered yes and turned over! I laid there in the wet for hours , this happened irregularly over 7 yrs but still thinking I was dying of some slow killer!
Eventually I went to Dr , because now I was losing my mind and memory as well as frequent flushes! He gave me veg: hrt! And it seemed just the next day things were better!
I have been on them ever since , though the type was changed twice, and apart from accidents and short spells when I didn't take them! They have been a life saver ! But my hair is recently thinning and I have a shaky hand also cravings for buttery and sweet things, thinking I might be on verge of diabetes?
I am trying hard to contain these two cravings.
My problem on seeing Dr. Is my deafness !

Reading through these messages, I do feel for all of you. But perhaps, just to even the balance and not frighten the ( you know what) out of those who may be just heading into the menopause, let me tell you my experience.
I started the menopause around 50 after having several years of increasingly heavy periods - you know the sort, when you get the super plus tampons and you still daren't go far from a toilet for 2 days. Then I started to miss months and they were lighter. I had some hot flushes, but mine were more like the sort you get if you're very embarrassed with a bit of sweat. The dr persuaded me to try HRT tablets, but when I had a break after 6 months (and another period) I said "blow this" and haven't taken any since. My 'symptoms' were minor hot flushes which carried on very infrequently for about 10 years, freedom (oh how I rejoiced) from periods, disappearance of tbe sinus headaches which came at least every month, my hair (which lost none of its thickness) went from dead straight to a gentle wave, no sign of brittle bones - life is GREAT.

I can't take HRT as I have Factor V Leiden and have also had a Granulosa Cell Tumour removed. Is there anything else that can help with joint pain and insomnia?

This is why GN is such a great site....we suffer in silence and isolation until we discover we are not alone!
My sympathies to everyone who is suffering to a greater or lesser degree and I do hope Dr Leonard can shed some light on how these symptoms can be better managed - by us and by the medical profession.
I no longer suffer menopause symptoms but even all these years later it chills my blood to recall how debilitating they were and how, sometimes, I felt that life was hardly worth living in that state.
These days I feel positive and glad to be alive, despite having cancer for the third time, so make no mistake - these are not just women's moans!

I reached the menopause at 54 and was very happy.

However along with the freedom came hair thinning. At the time I was having a lot of cap highlights and some people say this caused my hair to thin. My mum also had thinning hair after reaching the menopause - so was my thin hair, hereditary, due to hair treatments or a combination of all three, or was it just due to lack of oestrogen. My guess is it is hereditary lack of oestrogen but I'd like to know for sure. Thanks.

My periods finished when I was 53, exactly forty years after my first one at 13. I am now 63 and have been having hot flushes, night sweats and joint pain for ten years. Recently, I have noticed that the symptoms mentioned above are becoming intermittent. I can now go for a few days without them. Do you think that I am nearing the end of the menopause? I sincerely hope so!

I started with a Mirena coil to control bleeding, but that didn't stop the onset of the flushes, clumsiness, mood swings, irritability and general lack of concentration. That was at 45. Some I put down to stress of a divorce, but after 5 years getting worse got onto HRT via Systen patches, and everything improved markedly. However Doc would not let me remain on them beyond 4 years and switched to Liviol for a year before phasing that out too. I'm better than I was 6 years ago, and no bleed, but gained weight, much less energy and still need to wear cotton, no high necklines, layers than can be taken off in a hurry. Like Gardenmoma, there's a shot of adrenaline just before the flush, enough to wake me up, and some nausea. I've tried modifying diet (Eat to Beat the Menopause - but Noni I will try cutting dairy), more exercise, reduced my hours at work to part time, on 10mg Citalopram to even out the mood swings, but I'd be very happy to go back onto HRT, even given the risks.
One comforting thing is that at the same age (when I was only in my 20s), I thought my mother was "a bit thick", seemed to be one topic behind in the conversation and a few other odd things, and I was surprised later on, when in her 60's, at what an intelligent woman she had become. In hindsight, she was just where I am now.