A quick bit of advice please!

Parents who allow their children to behave like this are not doing them any favours. For the sake of harmony I guess there is not much you can do about it all now apart from grit your teeth - but I am appalled that the children behave so disrespectfully. My GC are much younger but understand basic table manners.

Sympathy in cart loads. First for the numbers you are hosting and then for the lack of discipline that the children appear to not have. I would say what you want them to do in a firm but pleasant fashion. At that point the parents should back you up. If not relax about the whole thing. As for organising games in the middle of all that work, well that would be up to the parents bringing games etc with them.

To be honest once my grandkids have finished eating I am happy for them to leave the table as they just get bored and fidgety and it means we can (try) have a chat in peace. They are younget than yours though age range 6 to 1.
If you want them to stay at the table you will need to engage them in the conversation or maybe do a quiz. You could start by asking one person on the table a question, if they get it right they get to ask the person of their choice a question etc. This worked for a while with my GC who enjoyed it.

Cover any non- washable furniture with sheets or throws, then you might not feel so stressed. You can always whip them off when you and their parents join them after the meal.
I hope you manage to enjoy a stress-free day. Let us know how it goes.

I think we all forget how boring is for kids to follow all these formal Christmas sit down meals and chit chat.

They are also with their cousins and of course they want to play together.

Now - There are rules of civility. Washing your hands after eating is basic so you do not get everything dirty.
The parents can bring toys for the kids so they do not destroy grandma's house.

That sounds like the visit from hell Kircubbin. You will be heaving a sigh of relief today I'm sure.
It seems sometimes that today's parents are unable to say 'no' to their children.

My 3 year old gs stripped off, refused to dress then emptied ALL the clothes out of 3 drawers and threw them at the 4 year old.
4 year old then joined in with the throwing game and as I had just arrived parents gave up and decided to go out for 2 hours! Destruction continued with 4 year old undoing the crackers to get the hats. I asked him to stop and he didn't,2 year old now walking naked over the table I gave up too. Thank goodness I go home tomorrow.

Well mine have just gone and although I love them I’m glad it’s over for another year! Grandson 1 looked at the heaving buffet and said “ there’s nothing I like” so I just said Yao my son “ go through the fridge and see what you can do find then”:I work with kids but some of my grandkids well.... another year over!

Yehbut and the more the wine flows the less you care.

Barmeyoldbat like your style ?????

Too late for you I know but I set up a small temporary table in the living room and the children eat there. We close the door on them and let them get on with it. I suspect the dog gets their Brussel sprouts.

This year my 13-year old grandson opted to join the adults.

Children eat first then lock outside in the garden and wave at them through the window Seriously I would do this.if I had the problem.

Plasticine in a word - not playdoh. Pack each and a tray or hard surface each and get them to make some animals.
Works just as well with pipe cleaners.
Or balloons see who can keep it in the air the longest.
Any silly game you can think of.
I see no harm in saying they have to wash their hands as soon as they leave the table.

You could "go with it" and adopt a buffet style meal / gathering instead.

There are things that I know just do not work with my nieces and nephews, and trying to "parent" them could cause issues.
So I do what works for everyone when they come. It may not be how I would ideally do things, but makes for an overall nicer day if Im not "swimming against the tide" IYKWIM

You want to 'contain' the children? They are not wild animals!! Its Christmas for goodness sake. They will not like to come if there are more rules than at home. Children make a mess - live with it.

Dont give everyone stress - just go with the flow.

I agree with Cabbie your house your rules, no screens at the table etc.

As its just one day, I would go with the buffet idea and don't serve anything messy. Just finger foods. Good luck

What have you allowed in the past? A bit hard to change the rules now? Unless the older ones could be persuaded in the guise of being adults helping to supervise the little one?

Sorry but I can’t imagine how it has got to this point, Granny’s house, Granny’s rules should apply.

It might be worth feeding the children first. Adults will be free to supervise - and enforce the washing of hands. Then, I'd put a film on for the kids and (hopefully) sit down to a leisurely, uninterrupted meal. If anyone plays up, I'd assign discipline to the appropriate parent. Good luck!

All but the toddler should be able to sit properly while eating. And really, at 2 1/2 he should be able to as well. If the table is set, and dinner time is called, then we should all sit at the table to eat until excused to leave ( and no taking food with them).

Just don't give the option to take food anywhere other than the table. Especially if they are teens! Once they leave the table, take the plate to the kitchen for clean up.

If they were at school, would this be permissible?

No, so why should your hospitality and home be misused?

You are willing to allow for some chaos and some seasonal madness. They should respect you.

Their parents should have taught the children to sit at a table; how to have ''table manners'' and eat a meal in a reasonably acceptable way when in company - if not, there is not much you can do about it when they come to yours for a special occasion. You could bribe them with presents if they behave - that's if they haven't had them already - and if you haven't stocked up on games etc - too late now, probably!

A couple of packs of wet wipes at the end of the table? Hide some of the cushions beforehand so not enough to fight with?

I get your annoyance, my older children would be offering to help tidy up afterwards but I do believe in raising adults who know how to look after themselves when they move out.

I don't see anything wrong with asking them to wash their hands when they leave the table or asking them not to throw the cushions etc. Your home, your rules. Just do it respectfully and don't expect much from teens because, well they are teenagers.

Do buffet style meals, let the children play games, wander about - and wipe the fingerprints off after they have gone. Christmas is very short and a relaxed atmosphere is always better than a fraught one.