Kumon ruining our holiday

Blimey. Your DiL should respect your opinion as a Maths teacher! Poor little girl. What happens if she doesn't do it? Would the DiL find out?
Try to enjoy the holiday and your DGD's company as much as you can. Good luck!

Just finished the Kumon. Only took an hour and seven minutes!!!

Interestingly she was OK for about 20 minutes and it is my belief that attention span is roughly 2 times age - note when it did broadcasts the OU slots were 20 minutes too. I sat by her and helped as suggested. But we still have to do corrections and then there's the next day's to do!!!

DIL has no respect for anything other than officialdom and those inside her own sphere of influence. Thus I don't count. I believe she did once take my advice on which dishwasher tablet to use but she now tells me there is a better one on the market!

I was asked to babysit while they went away to a pop concert - which I am very glad to do. I am gradually filtering in holidays with the grandchildren which will become a regular fixture I hope.

When my grandchildren tire of doing their spellings, reading, etc., I stop. Quite often they initiate things - nan can we read a book, do a crossword, do the adjective game, etc. There is, in my opinion, no point in forcing a child to learn. It will just put them off learning.

I would do, as others have suggested, work with her and do my best to make it fun (though from what has been said it doesn't sound like much fun). I think an hour is too long. I'm fairly sure that in school children are not expected to have that degree of concentration and commitment, without any light relief, for a whole hour.

the mother is calling a 7 year old stupid?

How about if you did it together? I don't mean "do it for her" as that would mean telling a direct lie and might not be a good example for her. Also, it would be pointless.

I have never seen a Kumon paper but perhaps you could get your granddaughter to do the questions first that she finds easy and then step in to help with the harder ones.

This method might mean you have done what her parents want but it won't take as long and the task won't be so monumental in the first place.

I think the mother sounds horrendous
No 7 year old should have an hour a day homework on holiday can’t you let her do it till she’s fed up then finish it off for her ...an hour and seven minutes is torture

...and for what ? I struggled with maths beyond everyday stuff but have worked well all my life with just an ordinary and reasonable knowledge of what anyone would have Never needed or used all the geometry Trig and algebra that I hated so much

That's not possible any more, you can't do a trade apprenticeship or entry level job now without GCSE maths, and if you are bright in NON maths subjects you won't be accepted to further study it without high attainment in maths. It is wring but that is how it is!

I would NEVER make a 7yr old work for an hour on anything unless they were self motivated/engrossed I think it is counter productive

BUT some of the replies don't appreciate the context of Maths nowadays, its not like it used to be! You aren't allowed to be weak at maths but good at something else, maths & English are the gatekeepers to ANY progression and take up most of teachers time in school.

All of the above is also a good argument for having a full BREAK from maths...

...but you can't say that maths is no biggie any more.

Appalled at calling a child stupid. And a seven year old doing an hour's maths on holiday. Double appalled. Maths should be fun at that age weighing and measuring to bake cakes and measuring to make teddy a holiday outfit. I love the fast watch idea and I'm afraid I would pencil in the answers and leave the poor child to fill in with nice jolly colours.

What does your son think?

We had some friends stay with us in Florida last October for 10 days, 5 of which were when their eldest son aged 6, would normally have been in school. He had 2 to 2.5 hours of schoolwork to do every day for the duration of his holiday.

They are currently living in the USA and he goes to a private school. According to his mum, he gets 2 hours of homework every school day and 2 hours for the weekend.

I don't know who hates this more, the child or the mum who has to ensure he gets it done every day when all he wants to do is go outside and play.

Dad thinks it's wonderful but then again, he never sits with him to ensure the work is done, he leaves that up to his wife.

That mother will demoralise the poor little girl. To call a child stupid is nothing short of abusive; and to inflict all that maths practice on her during her holiday is just mean.

Thirty years from now the girl's mother will be on Gransnet complaining that her DD has cut off contact or strictly limits her time with her DGC.

That's just mean. Too long for a 7 year old and especially on holiday.
I'd be tempted to help her if I'm honest. Should only take you 10 minutes

What does your son say about his wife being so controlling to his young daughter?

It’s a ridiculous situation.
In any case, as a maths teacher you are a better source of any maths help.
It should be done in short sessions, no child that age can concentrate fully for an hour.
You have my sympathy.

I asked my son about the Kumon as he also has trouble getting it done on the day. He said his daughter has made progress in Maths thanks to Kumon. I haven't seen it myself.

He doesn't (yet) see the controlling side of his partner in spite of several red flags over the years, the Kumon being only one of them. He is still very much in love and (bless) works so hard to keep the peace in some very difficult situations. I find it hard to keep silent over a number of things but I don't want to upset his family life.

I have come to the conclusion that I must keep the peace myself and be around for him and his daughters and support them if they have any difficulties. I also believe in praising them as DIL is more critical than praising.

Poor poor child. Poor you. Nothing to suggest that hasn't been out firward already just wanted to add my sympathies for you both.

I'm struggling to work out what I;d do if this was expected of me.
I'm not a fan of homework for 7 year olds but always did spellings, reading and tables with mine as expected by school. That would be for 20 mins or so during the school term time. I would not do any formal homework during the holiday time and I certainly wouldn't expect their grandparents to do so.
She's 7, on holiday with grannie, what's the point of over an hour's extra curricular work every day? You could be reading, drawing, painting, out visiting interesting places or imagine, lolling around watching a dvd whilst eating something indulgent

M0nica yep.

nottonan I realise you have to have a pass in maths nowadays (I have seven teen grandkids)but that’s all you need ....a pass you don’t need to be a maths genius and for heavens sake she’s 7 not cramming for her GCE exam maybe if she was 14 I d understand more

WOW - so much support and many suggestions. Many many thanks people!

BlueBelle a "pass" is not what it was, the curriculum has changed and now they are having to do work that was done by much older kids in the past.

Also, you won't get into academic streams for OTHER subjects if you just scrape a pass in maths like you could previously.

I have said that I disagree with this amount of work @ 7, but am also giving some general context about why some parents feel that the HAVE to push maths so much these days. It's all wrong but its systemic in many cases.

as for not needing to be a maths genius, well primary maths now includes stuff I didn't have to tackle until I was well into secondary school..... so a "pass" now =s a maths genius in my day simply because they have to plough ahead through topics that IMO shouldn't be necessary until later or unless maths is chosen as a subject for progression!

I don't think this mum is going about it the right way AT ALL. But she won't be the only kid getting extra maths help, even at 7, that is the norm now not the exception. (A curriculum and system that creates a need for this is to blame IMO, not the parents)

I can't think why your DIL doesn't take advantage of the fact that you were a maths teacher and ask your advice!
I was a teacher and dislike Kumon maths- I found that children who did it were very rigid in their thinking - not something that you want in maths. I also think that a 7yr old wants a holiday and there are so many ways that you can practise maths in everyday life and games that are fun.
However I don't think you can battle the parent - it will be to your detriment. Try and come to an agreement with the granddaughter. Sit down and say that you don't want it to spoil the holiday but it is going to have to be done so discuss the best way to do it- see what she says. I would suggest first thing in the morning to get it over with- set a timer and have a treat when she finishes and a bigger treat if she is fast. She may have a different suggestion.

Sent this thread to 2 friends who run kumon classes and asked for their comments. Amongst other comments they both said independently that the work load should certainly not be more than 20mins.
Unlike some of you I wish my daughter would send our DGS. It is very repetitive but the results do seem to be good.
The children in our family do seem to have benefited, one of them is a maths teacher herself now, but it is very difficult to quantify. Unlike our generation (in our family) maybe they would have been good mathematicians anyway!

Children vary in their learning speed. At 7 our DGD was very uncertain and worried by maths and it certainly wasn't her best subject.

She is now 11, about to go to secondary school and got 110 out of 120 for maths in the SATs test. She is now quite confident and happy with maths - all without any need for tutors or extra maths of any kind. It just took her a while to get the hang of the subject.

I see no need for maths coaching unless a child has a clear problem and then one to one tutoring that can address each child's specific problems is far more use than just going for mechanical maths tests.

My GC have a timetable pinned to the fridge that plots out the day. I thought this was extreme but it works. They can all see when they are allowed time on their iPads, when they are expected to practise their instruments, when they can ‘chill’. The 12 year old willingly does her English workbook as she knows that after that she has iPad time.
The summer holiday is very long and research has shown that lots of children go backwards in their schoolwork over the summer.
Why not get it done first thing in the morning and plan each day so she knows there are better things ahead?