The Gransnet Panto

gracesmum

susie

I'm here now, Cinders' fab stepmother
Kind, elegant above all other!
I'm very choosy about my dress
But my ambition I'll confess
Is to curb young Cinderella's passion
While dressing in the height of fashion
So tell me confidentially, chum
In this, does it look big, my bum??

Lovely! em.

em is offically the step mom then!!!!
I hope you all sewing your costumes.
love Chlamydia xxxx my wit is infectious1

Thank you Madam Producer. I have the tiny matter of Christmas to deal with but shall then focus all my efforts on supporting this major production!

Here I am, the Christmas fairy
In my dress so bright and airy.
I hope you like my little ditty
And you think that I am pretty,
-Although I'm feeling rather -(oh no...)
I'll try hard to be very witty.

You might think I'm rather old
To be a fairy bright and bold.
But with this wand and flouncy frock
I won't give you a big shock.
Just don't look closely, or you'll see
I should be on the Christmas tree!

I'll wave my wand across you all
If you're short, I'll make you tall.
If you're fat I'll make you thin,
Even if you're skinny I'll let you in!
Spots and wrinkles fade away
When my magic spell holds sway.

And so, dear grans, hold hands with me,
And let's shout out in merry glee
A happy Christmas, that's the sign,
Now give me a large glass of wine
And then another if you please,
Until I see a hundred Christmas trees.

Strik out that line didn't work!!!!

Apologies
I’d love to be in your panto, but there’s a place I’ve got to go
Little Polly’s on her way, I’ll need to be around to play
Her little sister’s staying back, till feeding, she has got the knack
Mum and dad are off their heads, they’re here and there, no time for bed
As soon as Alice is with her sis, and they’re all home, I’ll come back to this
I’ll sit in the stalls, heckle and shout, when the Ugly Sisters strut and pout
I’ll be there, Bailey’s in hand, dissing the Fairy with her wand
I can’t believe you’re wearing that! It’s not Primani, just old tat
And Prince, you’re ugly – you won’t do! You seriously can’t fit that shoe
With zits and shell-suit, you’re a sight, you won’t get off with her tonight
Cinders, you don’t make the grade, you’re dog-rough, you will not get laid!
Slurp – this wine is rather thin, I think I’ll strengthen it with some gin
Aaah! Now I’m getting in my stride, it’s better than the tardis ride
I love relaxing with my friends, I love you all – I can’t pretend
I’m drunk again, can you tell – Oh No! I’ll get it from Annobel!
She hasn’t forgiven me for last time, who gives a toss, it’s not a crime
Sob....I just get maudlin this time of year, I drink too much...sob...gerrof.....
You can’t make me leave, I paid for these tickets....sob...hic! ...effin’ expensive
Yerranyouan’all, you ol’ bat....no.......gerrof, you’re not a pleceman, you’re nowt but a kid
Gerrof....give me my drink back you b*****ds.......oh, shit.....as I said.......sorry....gerrof I said....!

Brilliant Carol!!

Carol

Carol Lovely. Well done!

Wish I had your talent, Carol

Has anyone thought about the dance routines? Maybe the Can-Can in the ballroom scene? We could practise over Christmas.

If she sits there drinking in the stalls
I'll pelt her with the Christmas tree balls;
I'll wave my wand and do a spell
To shut her up. Or, maybe, well-
I'll go and join her, have a drink
Or two, or three - that's what I think.
And then we'll slide beneath our seat,
And have a sleep and miss the treat.

Bit of a silence on the Can-Can. Would the Valeta be better?

I think the gransnet street dancing crew would be more up to date.

Mmm, but I couldn't offer to do the choreography for that one...

Ariadne Oh, no you won't!!

Can I be the pumpkin?

Choreography
Right - here is the Choreography for the Can Can in the ballroon scene.
Music: Tata tahat tata tum, ta tata tata tata tum.

Lift and lower le- eft knee and lift and kick out to the front
Lift and lower ri-ight knee and lift and kick out to the front
Re-ee-peat fo -ur times on ei-ther side
Ca-rtwhe-el thr-ee times to the right
Ca-rtwh-eel thr-ee times to the left

Lift right foot, extend leg past ear, still holding foot and turn three times on spot Tada tada tada tada
Repeat with right leg Tada tada tada tada

Leap in air - extending both arms and legs and land in splits - tada!

If you can't manage some of the moves then just hum along - it will be fine.

yeh, right

Just off to get my medication changed - I'm going to need some serious drugs to cope with those splits!!!

Thank you Mamie for keeping it simple! We should have no problems with that as long as we spend the next few days rehearsing in front of the wardrobe mirrors!!

Have we recruited any chaps. We need a Baron Hardup and a Buttons plse otherwise its going to be David Cameron and Nick Clegg and you know what a pair of hams they are.

Pantomime provides such joys
But now we need some handsome boys!
The girls will play the horrid baddies
So come on, where are all the laddies?